40 Tweets From The Last 40 Days That Are Just Very, Very, Very Funny To Me
Yeah, and now I'm craving some good old-fashioned dirt and worms.
Hey y'all, here's a collection of some posts on the site formerly known as Twitter that gave me a good laugh in the past 40 days...
1.
Can’t wait to tell my wife I lost the house playing Mortal Kombat. pic.twitter.com/9E3IWfpyTQ
— Douglas A. Boneparth (@dougboneparth) April 30, 2024
2.
Fuck it I just don’t care anymore what’s the point pic.twitter.com/0MZ3U20079
— gently used ass rag (@mastergoobway) May 1, 2024
3.
https://t.co/GccCRyv1rc pic.twitter.com/DxtbnYOVQi
— sophie (@netcapgirl) May 1, 2024
4.
u know the rydell high gays were gagging when this bitch showed up to prom pic.twitter.com/UV7bUvO4gD
— Ryan (@ryanntweets_) April 18, 2024
5.
Every time I step into a kitchen like this I get the urge to underage drink pic.twitter.com/w5zKgjbr5s
— CoKane (@KanesCabDriv3r) April 30, 2024
7.
feel bad for laughing, feel worse for taking a photo, but here we are and there it goes pic.twitter.com/kMwZETmqBp
— Natalie V Dávila (@natalievdavila) April 23, 2024
8.
Obsessed with the way my girlfriend holds burgers like she just picked up a wounded pigeon pic.twitter.com/JA8vg2hM2o
— Louise! (@themouseyouknow) February 23, 2024
9.
The Chicago coffee shop chain Foxtrot closed every store today without warning and I just watched someone try to open the front door, read the permanently closed note taped to the glass, and then yell "MY FREE REWARDS DRINK NOOO" like a Spongebob character pic.twitter.com/PcZerJBGCU
— Ben Crew (@BenjaminCrew1) April 23, 2024
11.
who is this diva! she look like she got tea pic.twitter.com/FenZkIpV3S
— KNOX (@knoxdotmp3) April 28, 2024
12.
When I say I gotta skedaddle pic.twitter.com/rar4NBA9Ko
— Luis Vercetti (@97Vercetti) April 28, 2024
13.
i’m so fascinated by this hideous dance move jojo siwa keeps doing that i had to make a montage of it pic.twitter.com/ag2qKVL2nD
— ♡🦇 (@sadhotgirI) April 28, 2024
14.
me when two Trader Joe's employees bag my groceries together pic.twitter.com/ZwC8elTd3M
— Bhald Bhaddie (@teejslipko) April 30, 2024
15.
she looks like those girls who lived with their grandma and wore pajamas to school https://t.co/WGi1EVpxkn
— morrissey enjoyer (@soulalchemist_) April 18, 2024
16.
this is literally what dubai looks like https://t.co/cD9PGyzaKL
— Pookie (@PookiesParadise) April 29, 2024
17.
This is a Saw trap pic.twitter.com/lROrei5fkm
— timmygami eyes (@deliclit) May 5, 2024
18.
did he burglarize the Wii bowling alley https://t.co/cgzY8QSxTR
— Matt Margolis (@ItsMattsLaw) April 29, 2024
19.
I get my suits from the same place https://t.co/ZeIf6PrMqq pic.twitter.com/mjfY4Jciwk
— Dan White (@atdanwhite) May 4, 2024
20.
High School students at In-N-Out after prom: pic.twitter.com/9QspQKgB4e
— Americana at Brand Memes (@americanamemes) May 7, 2024
22.
when we run out of something put it on the fridge so we don't forget to buy it pic.twitter.com/l72MQG1YJS
— Rex Masters (@MastersRex) May 5, 2024
23.
it’s 11 am on cinco de mayo and i am the only patron margaritaville… i thought this was america, step it up folks pic.twitter.com/XHnBI2J8iv
— jubilee jim (@JimJubilee) May 5, 2024
24.
we are mere hours away from the entire tl pretending to have fashion design degrees https://t.co/nTW92LiNjM
— ✨ (@magdalenepop) May 6, 2024
25.
This was a delicacy as a small Midwestern child pic.twitter.com/t8AV6QXAQA
— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) May 1, 2024
26.
sundays are for reading at a fifth grade level pic.twitter.com/h0Hkf59NMG
— michael 👃🏻 (@j3wtalian) May 5, 2024
27.
He looks like he’s an ensemble cast member in a high school production of Guys & Dolls https://t.co/wWoE5MYPrU
— madeline fitzgerald (@madelineanele) May 4, 2024
28.
it’s funny how they’re calling him gay as if being shirtless and acting overly gay isn’t the most straight guy thing ever https://t.co/E9sFZBijvY
— ethan (@ethanshumjr) May 4, 2024
30.
My nonbinary sibling just forwarded this birthday text they got from our grandma.
— Cool Hand Luka (@coolhandluka_) May 2, 2024
They’ve been nonbinary for like 8 years, and apparently Grandma’s takeaway after all that time is, “Nathan changed his first name to Them.” pic.twitter.com/bmOOZUmS8i
31.
THIS IS SO 😭😭 #MetGala pic.twitter.com/hazqOsSbl6
— iya ☆ (@haizediary) May 7, 2024
32.
my car is fucked pic.twitter.com/qCL1NHWtHr
— Adam (@adamgreattweet) May 1, 2024
33.
pretending to not care Blake Lively isn’t there to save the night #MetGala pic.twitter.com/LaJKnWvrmh
— ᴍᴇɢ🫐 (@blackxunicorns) May 6, 2024
34.
“oy, mista! you me espresso?” https://t.co/3qJ0wjFKw6
— Pastrami Mommy (@Ewelannawhite) May 7, 2024
37.
The Oompa Loompa from the Willy Wonka Experience in Glasgow has arrived at the #MetGala pic.twitter.com/jKxabjoF6e
— Dylan / દિલન (@dylan_patel) May 6, 2024
38.
“We’re returning to office because our company culture is so important”
— Inverse Cramer (Not Jim Cramer) (@CramerTracker) May 7, 2024
The culture: pic.twitter.com/7vTM5U92Z0
39.
When I’m done with my Chipotle burrito pic.twitter.com/QPGznKpOlk
— Kim Chi (@KimChi_Chic) May 7, 2024
40. And lastly...
not now baby mommy is busy judging the #MetGala looks pic.twitter.com/UbZQTK4ZLZ
— ᪥ (@vampyroses) May 6, 2024