1. Long, long, long, ago (what feels like EIGHT FUCKING YEARS but was actually just six to eight months depending on how ~cool~ you are lol), “Royals” was totally a great song!
3. OMG SHE’S ONLY 16? WHAT?!?! OMG THAT IS SOOOIIII IMPRESSIVE!
5. You’ll never get sick of it! It’s just too DARN catchy! ILY LORDE!!!
7. But then it happened…
11. It’s a straight up Lorde epidemic.
13. Then the threats began.
16. It was all pretty innocent until moms got involved.
19. You started hearing it on hip-hop stations.
21. At the airport.
23. Even coming out of GAS PUMPS.
25. Then the threats got worse…
28. This man may have even turned into alien Tyra Banks:
30. Currently, everything is downright dangerous/scary…
36. So far, there are two known casualties.
37. This woman’s face melted off:
39. And this woman’s face probably melted off too:
It must be stopped, put to misery, and laid to rest.