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    Posted on Dec 2, 2013

    For Everyone Who Wants "Royals" To Die

    It's been real, "Royals," but your time is up. Bye. Hope I never hear you again.

    Long, long, long, ago (what feels like EIGHT FUCKING YEARS but was actually just six to eight months depending on how ~cool~ you are lol), "Royals" was totally a great song!

    OMG SHE'S ONLY 16? WHAT?!?! OMG THAT IS SOOOIIII IMPRESSIVE!

    You'll never get sick of it! It's just too DARN catchy! ILY LORDE!!!

    But then it happened...

    It's a straight up Lorde epidemic.

    Then the threats began.

    It was all pretty innocent until moms got involved.

    You started hearing it on hip-hop stations.

    At the airport.

    Even coming out of GAS PUMPS.

    Then the threats got worse...

    This man may have even turned into alien Tyra Banks:

    Currently, everything is downright dangerous/scary...

    So far, there are two known casualties.

    This woman's face melted off:

    And this woman's face probably melted off too:

    It must be stopped, put to misery, and laid to rest.

    RIP "Royals."