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The Brazilian Men's Gymnastics Team Is So Hot It's Problematic

BRB, coming to Brazil.

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Ever since forever, or at least since YouTube comments, Brazil has basically been shouting at people to come to it.

For example, this is a skull playing a trumpet. A skull playing a trumpet cannot come to Brazil...yet there are hundreds of YouTube comments ASKING THE SKULL PLAYING THE TRUMPET TO COME TO BRAZIL.

It's all so fucking confusing.

After years of wondering WHY exactly Brazil wanted us to come to it, I think I've finally figured it out.

No, it's not the food, or the culture, or whatever else people like about countries.

It's the hot-ass 2016 Brazilian men's gymnastics team.

*Learns Portuguese*

*Chugs a caipirinha*

*Stands on a platform, moves to a microphone, and makes a declaration*

"BRAZIL I WILL CUM TO YOU. WE WILL ALL CUM TO YOU."

Why now?

Because everyone knows Brazilian guys are practically THE hottest guys in the whole damn world.

And these guys, the lovely 2016 Brazilian men's gymnastics team, are some of the most special guys.

Why are they so special, you ask?

Because each of their Instagram accounts is like a treasure trove of half-naked Brazilian men fondly looking at each other.

It's like they don't own shirts...

...and they are constantly stuck huddled in actual piles of mostly naked muscled men.

Heaven is real, and it's a member of the 2016 Brazilian men's gymnastics team Instagram account.

When I die, take me to the pearly gates of the Brazilian gymnastics training facility. It's where I belong.

Now, you may be asking: Who are these hot always-shirtless athletes, anyway?

This is Diego Hypolito. He's hot.

This is Angelo Assumpção. He's hot.

Here he is with another one of his hot teammates being all naked and shit.

This is Lucas Bitencourt. He's hot even if it looks like this picture was taken through a potato.

Francisco Barretto is a personal fave. He takes some of my favorite pictures, and by favorite pictures I mean slutty elevator pics.

Fellipe Arakawa has a thing for aliens.

Arthur Nory, quite frankly, makes me quiver.

This picture triggers me.

And now my body can't control its constant quivs.*

*Abbreviation for quivering.
instagram.com

*Abbreviation for quivering.

Yerp, this is a thing.

Lastly, we have Petrix Barbosa.

Here's a problematically hot picture of him and a golden f*cking retriever.

And here he is with Arthur f*cking Nory.

In conclusion, they deserve all of the awards or medals or whatever. See you in Brazil, bbs. We will all finally come to you xoxo.

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