Britney Spears is currently on vacation in Miami with her frighteningly hot 25-year-old fitness model boyfriend, Sam Asghari.
While I wish them nothing but good weather, great food, and hot sex...sadly, there's drama.
A photo agency took pictures of Britney and Sam on a boat and while most of the fan community thinks she looked gorgeous and happy, Britney thought otherwise.
We can't post the pictures because they are ultra exclusive and cost like a million dollars, so I'll draw them for you.
The pictures kind of look like this:
So Britney saw the pictures, and, like I said, she was pissed.
She took to Instagram stories for the first time in years to call out the dirty, rotten, and gross paparazzi for photoshopping the pictures and making her look 40 pounds heavier.
"Hello, and please don't judge me. I look haggard right now."
"But my question to all of you is: A lot of fans in our world today, they always are subject to really criticize people and say that the pictures and videos that they're posting are either not on time or they're fake."
"But no one ever really asks are the paparazzi pictures fake? And do the paparazzi do stuff to the pictures? And is the news really real? It's a conspiracy theory that I am actually interested in."
"Yesterday I went swimming, I look like I am 40 pounds bigger than I am today."
"This is how I am right now, and I am as skinny as a needle. You tell me what is real."
Skinny. As. A. Needle.
The next day, Britney took to Instagram AGAIN to call out the up-to-no-good paparazzi. The Instagram has been deleted*, but I obviously have the screenshot.
In the now deleted video, she says: “Good morning, this is the day after me on my boat ride. Do I look any different today than yesterday?”
No, sweets, you still look very much a needle.
Finally, today, to fully end the paparazzi, Britney posted her personal pictures from the vacation.