WHAT IS THIS? This is an information-based study comparing two of the biggest female pop stars of our time in hopes of figuring out who is better at Instagram.
WHY ARE WE DOING THIS? Because it's 2014, and who doesn't love pitting two female pop stars against each other?
IS THERE A BIAS HERE? Of course not.
So, first off, Britney Spears' Instagram technique can best be described as "really cool" and "artsy fartsy."
In the past few months, she has been given permission to take control of her social media accounts, which is, again, really cool.
Her photos provide a window into her soul, something we haven't really seen in the past seven years.
Britney has been especially active with the Instagram video feature. Her videos can best be characterized as "endearing."
Beyoncé's Instagram technique is slightly different in that it mostly features pictures of her standing stationary. Like, she's literally just standing there in most of them.
Her photos appear to be taken by some sort of personal Instagram photgrapher. It's all so luxurious.
She also takes pictures of bees.
And here's another cool outfit, I think.
Now that we have their basic techniques out of the way, let's take a deeper dive: a rapid-fire comparison round!
In this Instagram video, Britney Spears is in some sort of SUV. Sitting next to her is her child, Sean Preston. With a burst of spit and vigor, Britney breaks into her impression of "a woody woodpecker." It's unexpected and raw. It's kind of urban.
This is an Instagram from Beyoncé where she appears to be doing that floating-dead game. I don't really get it, but it's artsy in a not-fartsy kind of way. I'm confused.
In this photo, Britney is using Pic Stitch. It's very relatable. She's also wearing goggles, which is, again, relatable, especially to those who swim.
In this photo, Beyoncé is in front of a door, pulling on her coat.
Here's Britney doing the international sign for "peace" in the studio. She is drinking a Starbucks beverage and smoking menthol cigarettes. It is the most Britney Spears picture ever.
In this photo, Beyoncé is bending backwards. Cool flexibility, indeed.
Then we have Britney being a charitable pioneering ALS queen doing the Ice Bucket Challenge.
In this photo, Jay Z is boarding a private jet.
Aw look, it's Britney and her mother, Lynne. They are so country.
And here's Beyoncé in a mask.
Here's a cute pic of Beyoncé and her sister promoting alcoholism.
Compare that to this picture of Britney and her sister, Jamie Lynn, promoting familial bonds.
Lastly, here are two photos Beyoncé Instagrammed that had been photoshopped.
Not much to see here besides a bent iPhone and warped wine glass.
IN CONCLUSION, here's Britney with her boys at her most personal brunch yet.