Step 1: First things first, this is Blockbuster, not a fucking walk in the park. This isn't CANDYLAND. Create a game plan. If you don't know what you're getting, you're basically fucked. Your ass is going to get reamed by the Blockbuster time suck. Proceed with caution.
Step 2: Make your first lap around the perimeter. Stare endlessly and soullessly at the new releases.
Step 3: Realize you've seen everything. Take another lap.
Step 4: 20 minutes pass. You're still at Blockbuster.
Step 5: You're desperate. You're picking up movies you've never heard of. That shit went straight to video for a reason.
Step 6: Yawn.
Step 7: Hate yourself.
Step 8: Question your will to live.
Step 9: You think you've found the one. Then you find out that your friend has already seen the movie. You put the movie back in failure. You suck.
Step 10: Fuck it all.
Step 11: Get desperate.
Step 12: Pick out Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Stare at the candy in the aisle while you check out. Fantasize about getting those chocolate chip cookie dough bite things. Be glad this is almost over.
Step 13: After 45 minutes, you finally leave. You probably have renters regret. You have, again, succumbed to the Blockbuster time suck.
