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    Does Anyone Have Any Idea What The Fuck Christina Aguilera Is Saying In "Lady Marmalade"?

    An investigation.

    I woke up this morning feeling kinda down as a huge gay: Britney hadn't posted an Instagram of children from the 1920s overnight, Cassie still hadn't happened, and Carly Rae Jepsen's Emotion was still a huge-ass unknown flop that the general public will sadly never understand.

    In an effort to cheer myself up, I decided to watch some pop music videos.

    Because of said gayness, I put on the legendary early-2000s pop collab "Lady Marmalade."

    View this video on YouTube

    That's when I realized that, all of my gay life, I had literally NO IDEA what Christina Aguilera was saying during her verse.

    So I went to Twitter to try to see if I was the only one with NO CLUE.

    I wasn't alone.

    The gays started coming out in droves.

    Gay after gay had no idea what she was saying.

    This gay thought it was just screams.

    This gay thought she screams "MULAN" a lot.

    And this gay suggested that she was speaking "gay," a language I thought I had mastered.

    Still no answers.

    So I did my gay civic duty and decided to figure it out for my people.

    I fucking googled it.

    That's when I got to that trusted purple lyric site that literally everyone uses: AZLyrics.

    And scrolled till I got to Christina's part.

    The mystery had been solved.

    It starts with lots of inaudible screaming.

    "Touch of her skin feeling silky smooth, HEY."

    "Color of café au lait, ALRIGHT."

    "Made the savage beast inside roar until he cried."

    "More, more, MOOAOREIORUAOSDFIASDF988879897498234978324789324%%%"

    Then Pink and Mya come in...

    "Now he's back home doin' 9 to 5."

    "Livin' the gray flannel life."

    Back to Xtina...

    "But when he turns off to sleep, memories creep."


    Then it goes into the "Gitchi, gitchi, ya ya" part.

    But there you have it. Christina Aguilera was actually singing words in "Lady Marmalade."

    Thank you for your time.