Does Anyone Have Any Idea What The Fuck Christina Aguilera Is Saying In "Lady Marmalade"?

An investigation.

I woke up this morning feeling kinda down as a huge gay: Britney hadn't posted an Instagram of children from the 1920s overnight, Cassie still hadn't happened, and Carly Rae Jepsen's Emotion was still a huge-ass unknown flop that the general public will sadly never understand.

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In an effort to cheer myself up, I decided to watch some pop music videos.

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Because of said gayness, I put on the legendary early-2000s pop collab "Lady Marmalade."

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That's when I realized that, all of my gay life, I had literally NO IDEA what Christina Aguilera was saying during her verse.

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So I went to Twitter to try to see if I was the only one with NO CLUE.

Twitter: @mattstopera

I wasn't alone.

Twitter: @jakebeckman

The gays started coming out in droves.

Twitter: @BrianTooFab

Gay after gay had no idea what she was saying.

Twitter: @calvinstowell

This gay thought it was just screams.

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This gay thought she screams "MULAN" a lot.

Twitter: @alexrmoon

And this gay suggested that she was speaking "gay," a language I thought I had mastered.

Twitter: @eddiecamacho

Still no answers.

So I did my gay civic duty and decided to figure it out for my people.

Twitter: @thenamesnotray

I fucking googled it.

knowyourmeme.com

That's when I got to that trusted purple lyric site that literally everyone uses: AZLyrics.

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And scrolled till I got to Christina's part.

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The mystery had been solved.

It starts with lots of inaudible screaming.

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"Touch of her skin feeling silky smooth, HEY."

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"Color of café au lait, ALRIGHT."

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"Made the savage beast inside roar until he cried."

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"More, more, MOOAOREIORUAOSDFIASDF988879897498234978324789324%%%"

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Then Pink and Mya come in...

"Now he's back home doin' 9 to 5."

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"Livin' the gray flannel life."

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Back to Xtina...

"But when he turns off to sleep, memories creep."

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"More, more, MOOOOOOOOOAORIUEAFASDFOIASFD8FPOSDA7ADFSASDFKJ."

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Then it goes into the "Gitchi, gitchi, ya ya" part.

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But there you have it. Christina Aguilera was actually singing words in "Lady Marmalade."

Thank you for your time.

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