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    39 Red Flags That Prove You Are, In Fact, Heterosexual

    I'm so sorry, but you're straight if these things describe you.

    1. Your favorite Britney Spears song is "Toxic."

    britney spears in toxic music video
    RCA

    2. You have no idea who this woman is:

    kylie minogue
    Comic Relief / Getty Images

    3. The only Carly Rae Jepsen song you can name is "Call Me Maybe."

    a random lady on the phone
    Peopleimages / Getty Images

    4. You think "Perfect" by Ed Sheeran is the perfect first dance song at a wedding.

    ed sheeran
    Patrick Aventurier / Getty Images

    5. You lose your mind when they play "Shut Up and Dance" at weddings.

    RCA

    6. You have empty liquor bottles on top of your cabinets.

    bottles of liquors on cabinets

    7. You have empty protein containers on top of your cabinets.

    bottles of protein on cabinets

    8. You own a candle that looks like this:

    a burnt out red candle

    9. You say "love wins."

    a group of people
    Luis Alvarez / Getty Images

    10. You own something that says "live, laugh, love" in your house.

    a live laugh love sign
    Upyanose / Getty Images

    11. You have participated in SantaCon.

    drunk santas
    San Francisco Chronicle / Hearst Newspapers via Getty Images

    12. You refer to your friends as "buddies."

    stock image of men
    Hinterhaus Productions / Getty Images

    13. You refer to individual friends as "my man."

    stock image of men friends
    Oliver Rossi / Getty Images

    14. You have no idea who they are:

    little mix
    Comic Relief / Getty Images

    15. You have participated in or witnessed a real-life gender reveal.

    a woman holding pink and blue balloons
    Sanyasm / Getty Images

    16. You love St. Patrick's Day.

    a guy with a red hair wig
    Europanewswire / Getty Images

    17. You have stolen a traffic cone.

    a traffic cone
    Standing Dongyun / Getty Images

    18. You've been to a Phish, Dave Matthews, or Grateful Dead concert.

    a phish concert
    Kevin Mazur / Getty Images

    19. You can open a bottle with a lighter.

    a woman opening a bottle with a lighter
    Westend61 / Getty Images

    20. You refer to babies as "little man" or "little bud."

    a guy with a baby
    Kirill Rudenko / Getty Images

    21. You refer to hot dogs as dogs — "grilling up some dogs!"

    people cheersing hot dogs
    Manonallard / Getty Images

    22. You think Grindr is a "dating app."

    grindr logo on a phone
    Chris Delmas / Getty Images

    23. You prefer hot coffee over iced.

    Yulia Naumenko / Getty Images

    24. You drink glasses of milk.

    woman drinking mil,
    Aleksandr Zamuruev / Getty Images

    25. When you hear the word "poppers," you think of the food.

    fried jalapeno poppers
    Pamela_d_mcadams / Getty Images

    26. When you hear the word "Robyn," you think of a bird.

    Lorne Thomson / Redferns

    27. You have no idea who this woman is:

    charli xcx
    Jim Dyson / Redferns

    28. You have taken a picture with a fish.

    a man with 2 fish
    Photographer Kris Krüg / Getty Images

    29. You thought Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper were dating.

    brad and gaga on the red carpet
    Laurent Koffel / Getty Images

    30. You know how to play lacrosse.

    a person playing lacrosse
    Medianews Group / Getty Images

    31. You use two-in-one shampoo and conditioner.

    two old people giving thumbs up
    Predrag Popovski / Getty Images

    32. You have a friend named "Cheese."

    a random old man probably named cheese
    Serts / Getty Images

    33. Your favorite Kelly Clarkson song is "Since U Been Gone."

    kelly clarkson in a concert
    Yui Mok - Pa Images / Getty Images

    34. You own a gingham-print shirt.

    an old man in a gingham shirt
    Catherine Ledner / Getty Images

    35. You have a wooden American flag in your living room.

    a wooden american flag

    36. You walk slow.

    old people walking
    Petesphotography / Getty Images

    37. You have participated in "no-shave November."

    a man shaving
    Cavan Images / Getty Images

    38. You still like Justin Timberlake.

    justin timberlake at the trolls movie
    Isa Foltin / Getty Images

    39. And lastly, you have unironically used the word "hubby."

    straight people doing a baby announcement one stomach full of beer one juice and one baby
    Mixmike / Getty Images