WARNING: What you are about to see is stupidly sexy. You will not want it to end. I’m sorry that it has to end. Blame God.
1. It’s Friday. Ryan needs gas. He exits his car and makes eye contact with the pump.
2. He’s wearing a Macaulay Culkin shirt. Which is like cool and funny, I guess. It fits him well, so we like that. We like that a lot.
3. Then it happens. He inserts the pump.
4. And holy fuck. The way he pumps that gas. I can’t. I simply cannot handle this.
5. Pump that gas, Ryan.
6. Show me that ass.
7. And PUMP THAT GAS.
8. REAL NICE.
9. Oh, you like that?
10. YEAH YOU DO.
11. Now, insert that credit card. PUT IT IN.
12. REACH FOR IT, RYAN. GET IT.
13. AWWWWW!!! Get your mind out of the gutter, people! He’s just pumping gas! It’s George!
14. I LOVE YOU GEORGE!!!! YOU ARE SO SO CUTE!!!!
15. Okay, now it’s time to leave. Bye Ryan! Thanks for letting us objectify you while you were pumping gas. Its been real. Luv ya!
- Several people were stabbed during a white nationalist protest in Sacramento.