"I lived in a triple; let's call one of my roommates Tom. Tom was a disgusting inconsiderate sex addict, and I'd venture once of the worst roommates anyone has ever had. Here are just a few examples:
- Tom masturbated several times a day, just under his sheets, not subtly. Being a triple and the largest room on the floor, we had people in and out of our room regularly. This didn't matter to him. After a while, we got him to agree to a rule that if we caught him wanking he would stop, but once he was past a certain point that just wasn't going to happen.
- Tom had a girlfriend on the floor and would sexile us whenever possible (for example, when we were showering). She was a spitter, which I know because the spit cup by his bed was never cleaned out.
- Tom was a believer in the "shit test". Apparently going to the toilet only to find out you didn't have to go is a big waste of time, so you just stand up and try to go a little bit first, then run to the toilet if needed. Once, while attempting this, he shit himself ('a little', he claimed), right before going out to a party. He asked me if he should shower, but then decided he had no time. Obviously Tom did not wear underwear, and when he returned back from the party he just took off his pants and hopped naked into bed. I don't think those sheets were ever washed.
- Tom once had to pee during a poker game in our room. Rather than leave, he used a solo cup under the table, and then a second one that he urgently requested as the first was filling up. When he finished, he put the cups on his desk. Later, someone noticed that one of the cups was on its side and empty, over the side of the desk, having apparently spilled over his clothes on the floor.
- Tom got sick of not being able to have sex with his girlfriend whenever he wanted, so he had this great idea to buy a tent from Target so he could have sex while we were in the room. His girlfriend wasn't having it, so he moved his mattress and the tent to a janitor's closet. Apparently a cleaning lady walked in on him sleeping naked there and he was forced to move back in.
- We had two men's bathrooms on our floor, each with 3 showers. One shower belonged exclusively to Tom and his girlfriend. He kept a lawn chair in there, because 'sitting is the luxurious way to shower'. You can imagine what else went on in there, and why nobody else used it.
- At the end of the year, we did a survey. Over half of the people on the floor had seen his penis at least once."