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How Ready Are You For The Football Season?

It's that time of year again.

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  1. Have you been thinking "Is it football season yet?" since March?
    Did you watch more than one round of the NFL Draft?
    Have you wiped your memory of every bad thing that happened last year?
    Are you convinced this year is going to be different?
    Have you already apologized to your friends and family for your future behavior?
    And cleared your Sunday schedule for the next five months?
    Have you read every prediction for your team?
    Do you vehemently disagree with 99% of them?
    Have you been taking the preseason WAYYY too seriously?
    Have you watched an online stream of a preseason game?
    Have you checked box scores of preseason games?
    Do you have Sunday Ticket?
    Have you made friends with someone who has Sunday Ticket?
    Have you figured out your personal opening day outfit yet?
    Does it involve Zubaz pants?
    Have you convinced yourself that your team could maybe, possibly win the Super Bowl?
    Have you gone through your team’s schedule and picked out the “must win” games?
    Do you know your team's bye week?
    Have you purposely scheduled something important on your bye week?
    Are you already angry about plans you have on a game day?
    Have you been making up reasons to tailgate?
    Have you been making sure your drinking ability is in mid-season form?
    Have you mentally prepared yourself for a devastating injury to a star player?
    Have you already lost hope in your team?
    And convinced yourself the next day that they have as good as a chance as anyone else?
    Are you already looking forward to the 2015 draft?
    Did you watch "Hard Knocks"?
    Did you secretly wish it was your team the entire time?
    But did it still give you a man or lady boner?
    Have you started wearing your team gear?
    Be honest — are you forcing sweatshirt weather?
    Have you said "this is our year?"
    Have you lashed out on social media about something that happened in the offseason?
    Have you looked at the preseason depth chart?
    Have you memorized it?
    Are you already complaining about the playcalling?
    Have you already started talking trash about Fantasy Football?
    Have you showed every human being you know your Fantasy Football roster?
    Have you given up on your baseball team?
    Do you feel every other sport is a mere distraction to keep you occupied before the football season?
    Are you going to sleep early just to make the time go faster?
    Are you slightly worried about your well-being?
    Do you feel empty without football?
    Are you counting down the seconds?

How Ready Are You For The Football Season?

Of course you're ready for football season! Everyone is! Our lives are so empty and meaningless without it. Enjoy the next five months of heartbreak and elation!

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NFL Rewind / Via buzzfeed.com
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