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How Much Do You Actually Care About Sports?

Way too much? Not at all? Let's find out.

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  1. Do you have a favorite team?
    Does your mood depend on whether your team wins or loses?
    Do you have trouble sitting still when watching a game at home or a bar?
    Have you ever skipped an important function to watch your team play?
    Have you ever listened to an entire sporting event on the radio?
    Have you ever read a book about your favorite sports team?
    Are you superstitious about your team?
    Do you secretly blame yourself when your team loses?
    Have you ever cried over a sporting event?
    Have you ever cried AT a sporting event?
    Did you collect cards growing up?
    Do you still know where they are?
    Have you ever been told to calm down?
    Have you ever reacted poorly to a request to calm down?
    Have you ever thrown something at the television?
    Do your friends avoid watching games with you because you’re too intense?
    Have you ever painted your face or chest for a game?
    Have you ever gotten into an argument with another fan?
    Have you ever been kicked out of a professional sporting event?
    What about college?
    High school?
    Are you still emotionally reeling over a loss from over 5 years ago?
    What about over 10 years ago?
    Do you root for a team located from either Cleveland or Buffalo?
    Can you clothe yourself in your team’s merchandise for at least a week?
    Do you consider tailgating a sport?
    What about golf?
    Have you ever uttered the phrase “down in front?”
    Do you attempt to grow a playoff beard?
    Have you ever worn a rally cap?
    Do you take personal offense when people say your favorite sport is boring?
    Do you get to games in time for warmups?
    Do you know how to keep a scorecard?
    Do you refuse to leave games early no matter what the score?
    Do you argue about calls from your couch as if referees or umpires could hear you?
    Have you ever fought someone for a foul ball or free t-shirt?
    Have you ever thought about sports during sex?
    Do you own any obnoxious fan gear?
    Do you use the pronoun “we” when talking about your favorite team?
    Do you hate bandwagon fans?
    Have you ever gambled on sports?
    Have you ever stormed the court or field after a sporting event?
    Have you ever disliked someone solely because they rooted for a rival team?
    Are you a member of a message board?
    Have you ever called into a sports talk radio show?
    Have you ever Tweeted at your favorite athlete?
    Would you hypothetically sacrifice your first born for a championship?
    Do you tell people being a fan has taken years off your life?
    Do you hope it’ll all be worth it in the end?
    Are you worried it won't be?

How Much Do You Actually Care About Sports?

Okay, you really don't give a shit about sports — and you want people to know it. You don't understand the obsession around rooting for freakishly athletic millionaires competing against each other. You really like to read and probably don't even have cable. You're most likely an incredibly rational person.

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You've seen some games, and you enjoyed the camaraderie and excitement — even if you weren't exactly sure what was going on. You think there are too many rules and games last too long. You don't hate sports, but you normally have better things to do with your time.

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You understand the basic rules of the game, but you have enough common sense to know losing isn't the end of the world. You love going to games, but you aren't nearly as enthusiastic to watch games at home on the couch. You like the social aspect of sports more than anything else.

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You really like sports, and you want everyone to know that you REALLY LIKE SPORTS. You know the rules and rivalries and you probably have a hat of your favorite team. You care, but if you're really being honest you rarely lose sleep over anything. You're normally a calming influence on your more fanatical friends.

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You truly love sports, and you have your whole life. You know the importance of stick with your team through the ups and downs. You're emotionally invested in your teams. Wins and losses really effect your day-to-day life.

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Okay, you might have some minor issues, but you acknowledge them. Sometimes your fandom can take a dark turn. You've drank away your sorrows after bad losses on multiple occasions. You know all the obscure trivia. You've cried over wins and losses. Sports are a huge part of your identity and you're proud of it.

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You're a crazy person. You're teams ARE your life. Everything else in the world takes a back seat — your job, friendships, relationships, family, and general your physical, mental and spiritual well-being. Your friends are probably organizing an intervention as you read this. And most importantly you don't care what anyone says or thinks because this is your year — and if you have to kidnap your rival's star player to make that happen then so be it.

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