Do You Have What It Takes For A Badass Job in the CIA?

Does “Homeland” have you thinking about a career change? Well, at the Central Intelligence Agency even the librarian jobs sound cool.

1. First off, if you had too much fun in college you need not apply.

(Sorry Ben)

2. Nearly every position requires a bare minimum 3.0 GPA.*

*Many require a minimum 3.5 GPA

3. And absolutely no use of illegal drugs in the past 12 months.

4. Still here? Wow, okay, now you just need to undergo an in-depth psychiatric evaluation…

5. …and pass a polygraph.

6. Also, you can’t tell ANYONE you’re applying…

7. Now you might be ready for a totally badass career path…

8. Welcome to “Clandestine Service”

12. This Jason Bourne-type stuff a little too intense for you?

13. Well, you’re in luck because the CIA even makes their least exciting jobs seem life-changing…

14. Librarian

Also Known As: Someone who helps you find books

15. Paralegal

Also Known As: The lawyer’s bitch

16. Cost Estimator

Also Known As: Someone who determines how much to pay for stuff

17. Assistant Editor

Also Known As: Writer of company newsletter

18. Human Resources

Also Known As: Person you complain to about crap around the office.

19. Cartographer

Also Known As: Map maker

20. So if you’re ready to sacrifice friends, family and any semblance of a normal life in order to help protect America, the CIA is anxiously awaiting your application.

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