You wake you, look at the person next to you and you're like...
He doesn't look anything like Ryan Gosling!
So you put your clothes on as gracefully as possible
Then sneak out as gracefully as you can
On your way out you bump into his roommate
Who can't stop staring at your boobs
And you're like, 'yeah they're just tits.'
You make it out the door and realise that you don't have enough money for a cab
Plus you've ran out of battery on your phone
You just want to die
You don't feel so good
Then you start to feel sorry for yourself
You start to cry
Which makes you angry because you look like Kim Kardashian when you cry
You just want to go home
And get some sleep
So you decide to walk
You notice that people keep staring
Even Elena from the Vampire Diaries is like...
Because you look like this
But in your head you look like this
So you're like...
You look her up and down
You throw some stink in her direction
Then you walk away
Then you suddenly realise where you are
You run towards your front door
When you get there you're like...
Then the hangover kicks in
You get into bed
Then you tell yourself
Then next week you're like...
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