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18 Reasons Why Bananas Should Be Fucking Banned

Putting the NAH into banana.

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1. They completely ruin what should be gold standard desserts.

Caramel? Tick. Biscuit? Tick. Cream? Tick. Bananas? WHY, GODDAMN IT?!
enheney / Thinkstock

Caramel? Tick. Biscuit? Tick. Cream? Tick. Bananas? WHY, GODDAMN IT?!

2. Their taste penetrates even the thickest of smoothies.

I always try to put bananas in my smoothies but then I have to choke it down because I HATE bananas so frick trying to be healthy

3. And renders fruit salads almost completely inedible.

People who put bananas in fruit salad are the worst type of people

4. Bananas just go to mush the second you start chewing.

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This is what it must be like for dogs who eat their own sick.

5. They taste absolutely nothing like banana flavoured Calpol, which as all kids know, is truly scrumptious.

Don't we all Ella, don't we all.

6. Or those delicious foam banana sweets.

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This is clearly just a rouse to fool children into eating these devil fruits.

7. But you might as well just eat the sweets anyway, because bananas are full of sugar and still taste like shit.

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8. And frozen bananas are a fresh hell designed to troll children and sweet-toothed adults alike.

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STOP THIS MADNESS.

9. God forbid you ever get trapped on a train with someone eating a banana.

People who eat bananas in crowded public spaces are the worst types of people.

10. They quickly turn into grotesque sacks of gunk, the colour of death.

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11. People going as bananas for halloween is proof that they are scary and horrid AF.

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12. Bananas In Pajamas was the literally the creepiest thing to ever happen.

13. Mashed bananas are the closest thing to baby sick as you can get.

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14. People who eat banana SANDWICHES need to be kept away from the rest of society.

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15. Cats, who we all know are the fucking smartest creature, know that these are the devil's fruit.

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CATS KNOW. ALWAYS TRUST CATS.

16. Only the word "bananas" could be used as an insult.

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BECAUSE LIKING BANANAS IS CRAZY.

17. And let's not forget, they can be bloody dangerous.

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18. Basically everything about them is gag-inducing.

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🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌

So fuck you, bananas, fuck you.