23 Times Patrick Star Was Your Drunk Spirit Animal

    Turn down 4 wut.

    1. When you think you're killing it on the dance floor but you actually look like a flailing imbecile.

    2. When you pre-game way too hard and vom on your friend's carpet before you even make it out.

    3. When you run into your ex and start a fight with them in front of the whole bar for no reason.

    4. When you forget all about your last interaction with your ex and this time declare your undying love for them.

    5. When you flip a shit and tell everyone you lost your phone only to realize it's in your back pocket.

    6. When you can no longer control your thirst and try to hook up with everyone you see.

    7. When you think you're singing along to "Uptown Funk" but you're actually speaking another language altogether.

    8. When your friends say you're getting too sloppy so you try as hard as you can to sober up and fail miserably.

    9. When you go to the bathroom to touch up your makeup and come out looking like an even hotter mess than you were before.

    10. When you can't stop loudly burping and hiccuping your way through every drink.

    11. When you have a public meltdown because you lose your friends in the bar crowd so you text them five hundred times until you find them.

    12. When you unknowingly have a wardrobe malfunction and flash the whole bar.

    13. When you publicly announce every time you have to pee because your body is a human vodka funnel.

    14. When you flirt a little too aggressively with someone and leave absolutely nothing to the imagination.

    15. When you order all the food you can get your hands on and shamelessly stuff your face at the bar.

    16. When you spend your life savings on drinks because drunk you loves overtipping your new favorite bartender.

    17. When you become a little too brutally honest with people and get into like fifteen fights.

    18. When you're so gone you actually start to doze off mid-sentence.

    19. When you try to engage in a deep, philosophical conversation but nobody understands what the hell you're going on about.

    20. When literally the entire bar can't wait for you to fucking leave because you're so loud and belligerent.

    21. When your friends say it's time to go home and you get ridiculously upset because you've never felt so ALIVE in your entire life.

    22. When you basically enter the fifth fucking dimension.

    23. And when you finally make it home and pass out on the floor because you don't even make it to your bed.