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23 Signs That You're A Milt

Let's face it, were all a bunch of Milts, and there's nothing we can do about it! To anyone who has had the distinctive privilege of attending Milton Hershey School over that last few decades, there is a certain amount of crazy that we can never escape, but we are all the better for it! Please contact me if you have any ideas for my next Miltfeed (I'll give you credit)

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2. You literally attend the most wealthy High School in the world, which is somehow still in a budgetary crisis

Via greedy-bankers.com

Let's get real for a minute, with $11.5 billion, we should be able to afford some salt and blue juice in the cafeteria!

5. You've been listening to Kendrick for over 3 years

Via data:image/jpeg;base64,/9j/4AAQSkZJRgABAQAAAQABAAD/2wCEAAkGBxQSEhUUEhQWFRMXFiASFxgVFxgYGBwZFRwXFxYYHRYcHCggGBwlHRgYITIhJSkrLi4uGB8zODMsNygtLiwBCgoKBQUFDgUFDisZExkrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrK//AABEIALcBEwMBIgACEQEDEQH/

Call us rachet, but at least we know about that underground rap a quick minute before anyone else! Who is that Mackerel honkey to win the Grammy anyway?

6. Mealbus Babies

Via image.shutterstock.com

I don't know about any baby stork, but there is a magical mealbus that delivers lifers right in front of Founder's Hall. Hey, remember that one 8th grader years back who stole the mealbus? My personal hero!

7. The dreaded Trolley

Via encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

So its all right for this strange woman to walk into Founder's Hall all willy nilly during lunch, but if you are a visiting alum, you need to give a finger print test, background check, and stool sample before they even let you in the door. Maybe they are afraid that we might disturb the milts in their natural habitat

8. MLK Day

Via blog.stearnsjohnson.com

So let's make all the students do community service in honor of MLK months before the holiday, and then not them them celebrate with a day off on the actual date. Who is that impersonator they have speak each year anyway?

9. Manipulative Mints

Via data:image/jpeg;base64,/9j/4AAQSkZJRgABAQAAAQABAAD/2wCEAAkGBxQTEhQUEhQUFRUXFRUUGBcUFBQVFBYUFhQXGBcVFBQYHCggGBolHBQUITEhJSkrLi4uFx8zODMtNygtLiwBCgoKBwcGDgcPGisZExkrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrK//AABEIAN8A4gMBIgACEQEDEQH/

Yeah, uh, you have a level IV, you're getting terminated, and your mother just died, but have this mint.

10. Ibuprofen and Ice

Via data:image/jpeg;base64,/9j/4AAQSkZJRgABAQAAAQABAAD/2wCEAAkGBhISERUUEhMWFRUWFRgYFxUYFxgXGRQVGBgXFxYXGBcXHCYeGBojGRQXHy8gIycpLCwsFx4xNTAqNSYrLCkBCQoKDgwOGg8PGi0kHyQsKSksKSksLCwpKSwpLCwsKSwsKSwsKSwpKSwsLCkpLCkpLCwsLCksLCwsLCwsLCkpLP/AABEIALcBEwMBIgACEQEDEQH/

Here, honey, I see that you've been completely dismembered; I have the perfect panacea, Ibuprofen and Ice

11. There's that one Light-Skinned/ Hispanic/ White girl that every dude says he been with

Via data:image/jpeg;base64,/9j/4AAQSkZJRgABAQAAAQABAAD/2wCEAAkGBxQSEhUUExQUFhUUFBQXFRUUFRQUFBUUFxQWFxcUFRQYHCggGBolHBQUITEhJSkrLi4uFx8zODMsNygtLisBCgoKDg0OGxAQGiwkHCQsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLP/AABEIAQsAvQMBIgACEQEDEQH/

We all know that showdy baaad, but none of y'all got with her

12. Clockies/ Weird White People

Via data:image/jpeg;base64,/9j/4AAQSkZJRgABAQAAAQABAAD/2wCEAAkGBxQSEhQUExQUFBQXFBYVFRUVFRUUFRUVFBQXFhUVFxUYHCggGBolHBQUITEhJSkrLi4uFx8zODMsNygtLisBCgoKDg0OGxAQGywkICQsLDQsLCwsLSwsLCwsLCwsNCwsLCwsLCwsLiwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLP/AABEIAOEA4QMBIgACEQEDEQH/

They'll be waiting for you everyday as you innocently walk to class, giving you dirty looks and munching on Bibles

14. Poptart Capitalism

Via thebudgetbandit.com

They used to mean something else when they said they had "baked goods" for sale, but now they straight up mean they have some baked goods for sale! $2.50 a pack, I'd like to see you find another dealer in the locker room

15. WEIGHTS DOWN SLOW!!!

Via encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

Actual Quote...

Teacher: "Hey there Tyrone, is there a fire alarm going off right now?" (looks around casually for that one light-skinned/ Hispanic/ White Girl)

Tyrone: (drops the weights): "Uh, I don't think so."

Teacher: "Well then, WEIGHTS DOWN SLOW!!!!!"

16. Alumni Relations

Via data:image/jpeg;base64,/9j/4AAQSkZJRgABAQAAAQABAAD/2wCEAAkGBhQSERUUExQWFBUVGB0YFxgYFxcVFxcXGBcVFxcWFxcXHCYeFxojGhcVHy8gJCcpLCwsFx4xNTAqNSYrLCkBCQoKDgwOGg8PGikcHCQsKSwsLCksKSwpLCksLCkpLCkpLCkpKSkpKSksLCkpKSwsKSkpLCwsKSksLCwsLCksLP/AABEIALcBFAMBIgACEQEDEQH/

"How dare you kids complain about how Milton Hershey School? Back in my day, we had to milk cows, I got beaten everyday, and got bullied and harassed by all the boys! You young people have it too easy!"

20. You think that TL is going to be Awesome, but you end up missing your student home after the first week

TL is literally the worst program to ever be orchestrated by MHS, well aside from Springboard, and maybe multi-age housing

23. You are more than thankful for MHS and love your alumni brothers and sisters like they are real family!

Via encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

Even though the going gets rough sometimes, we still absolutely adore our founder and our school. MHS PRIDE FOREVER! BLEED BROWN AND GOLD!

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