23 Signs That You’re A Milt

Let’s face it, were all a bunch of Milts, and there’s nothing we can do about it! To anyone who has had the distinctive privilege of attending Milton Hershey School over that last few decades, there is a certain amount of crazy that we can never escape, but we are all the better for it! Please contact me if you have any ideas for my next Miltfeed (I’ll give you credit)

1. If you see this fire truck while walking home with your bae, you run for quick cover!

We all know whose fire truck this is! Run, run, run before Kimbo Slice catches you having a PDA!

2. You literally attend the most wealthy High School in the world, which is somehow still in a budgetary crisis

Let’s get real for a minute, with $11.5 billion, we should be able to afford some salt and blue juice in the cafeteria!

3. You know about Milton Hershey’s 6th finger

Okay, so when are they just going to say that Uncle Milt was smoking a fat Cuban? You gotta love the 1930’s Photoshop though

4. Having an un-tucked shirt at school made you a total bad-@$$!

Like anyone cares about SASI points anyway!

5. You’ve been listening to Kendrick for over 3 years

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Call us rachet, but at least we know about that underground rap a quick minute before anyone else! Who is that Mackerel honkey to win the Grammy anyway?

6. Mealbus Babies

I don’t know about any baby stork, but there is a magical mealbus that delivers lifers right in front of Founder’s Hall. Hey, remember that one 8th grader years back who stole the mealbus? My personal hero!

7. The dreaded Trolley

So its all right for this strange woman to walk into Founder’s Hall all willy nilly during lunch, but if you are a visiting alum, you need to give a finger print test, background check, and stool sample before they even let you in the door. Maybe they are afraid that we might disturb the milts in their natural habitat

8. MLK Day

So let’s make all the students do community service in honor of MLK months before the holiday, and then not them them celebrate with a day off on the actual date. Who is that impersonator they have speak each year anyway?

9. Manipulative Mints


Yeah, uh, you have a level IV, you’re getting terminated, and your mother just died, but have this mint.

10. Ibuprofen and Ice


Here, honey, I see that you’ve been completely dismembered; I have the perfect panacea, Ibuprofen and Ice

11. There’s that one Light-Skinned/ Hispanic/ White girl that every dude says he been with


We all know that showdy baaad, but none of y’all got with her

12. Clockies/ Weird White People


They’ll be waiting for you everyday as you innocently walk to class, giving you dirty looks and munching on Bibles

13. Rachet Weave

Showdy baaaad, and her hair is all natural! Better not wear loops bigger than a quarter

14. Poptart Capitalism

They used to mean something else when they said they had “baked goods” for sale, but now they straight up mean they have some baked goods for sale! $2.50 a pack, I’d like to see you find another dealer in the locker room


Actual Quote…

Teacher: “Hey there Tyrone, is there a fire alarm going off right now?” (looks around casually for that one light-skinned/ Hispanic/ White Girl)

Tyrone: (drops the weights): “Uh, I don’t think so.”

Teacher: “Well then, WEIGHTS DOWN SLOW!!!!!”

16. Alumni Relations


“How dare you kids complain about how Milton Hershey School? Back in my day, we had to milk cows, I got beaten everyday, and got bullied and harassed by all the boys! You young people have it too easy!”

17. Milt Parties

Not only do you almost get stabbed walking to the door, but inevitably the police are called, and everyone bounces

18. Free Food

Unless you can smoke it or eat it, Milts aren’t interested!

19. Chicken Nugget Day

Let’s get real, this is what the line looks like any day there is chicken for lunch

20. You think that TL is going to be Awesome, but you end up missing your student home after the first week

TL is literally the worst program to ever be orchestrated by MHS, well aside from Springboard, and maybe multi-age housing

21. You have no idea what’s going on, but you like this page because you know that MHS is corrupt

Alumni have been fighting about who knows what for decades. Can’t we all just get along?

22. They be this hype

School will not be cancelled today, and the bus will be there to pick up TL at 6:45 AM sharp

23. You are more than thankful for MHS and love your alumni brothers and sisters like they are real family!

Even though the going gets rough sometimes, we still absolutely adore our founder and our school. MHS PRIDE FOREVER! BLEED BROWN AND GOLD!

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