1. Black Smoke - No new Pope.
2. Orange Smoke - Test smoke. Cardinals just testing smoke.
3. Pink Smoke - New episode of Girls “good but not great”.
4. Yellow Smoke - Random cardinal from South America has turned himself into smoke.
5. Red Smoke - Nachos
6. Purple Smoke - Cardinals watching original Batman on Blu-Ray.
7. Gray Smoke - Regular smoke (there’s a fire).
8. Screamin’ Green™ Smoke - This papal conclave is brought to you by Crayola®.
9. Koffing - Koffing
10. Invisible Smoke - Default Vatican smoke pumped into atmosphere to maintain control over all God’s men and children.
11. White Smoke - New Pope.
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- One person has died and several others are injured after a shooting in Austin, Texas. The shooter has not been located.