1. You've always wanted to have a toast on every coast.
How about all the coasts, AT THE SAME TIME.
2. Let's face it. We all want to be Kanye's bff.
Guess what? You can kiss Yeezy goodnight for the rest of your life.
3. You've always dreamt of living among exotic animals ~*like yourself*~.
Now you can build an eccentric safari in your own home.
4. Always dreamt of seeing the magical streets of Brooklyn?
Get the amazing views without the rent.
Drink top shelf English breakfast tea like a duchess while you and your friends binge on Downton Abbey.
6. You've always wanted to leave your mark on the world on a Jesus Christ kind of scale.
Guess what? Jesus AND Mary are here to help pen your next masterpiece.
7. We all want to live our life like a free-spirited, facemasked badass at Burning Man.
This mask has all the attitude of Burning Man and the functional protection from dust, wind, and cold.
8. Always dreamt of sipping on yacht club caliber cocktails?
Poseidon himself would mix a drink with these nautical cocktail anchors.
9. Always dreamt of owning a horse that does cool tricks?
Boom, here is a magic horse that pumps soap from its head.
10. I know, we've all wanted to watch polar bears splash around in the ice.
How about your own mini polar bear that plays in melted ice cubes?!?
11. Surely you would like to rave your face off with a disco ball someday.
Why not BE the f$%king disco ball!?!
12. Have you ever considered battling a shark?!? Yes, shit is getting extreme here.
Win every time with this shark jaw that sharpens your blade as you slice it.
13. Last but not least, we all have that one friend who desperately wants a pet monkey.
How about this cutie that will blow dry your nails instead of attacking your face?
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