The 14 Types Of People You See On The Subway

Maybe I'll just take a cab

1. The Sleeper

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There's always that one who just can't stay awake for 5 stops, and they always seem to end up on your shoulder.

2. The Sneaky College Kid Who Has Rum In Their Coke Bottle

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We're on to you drunk tricksters.

3. The "Aww Shucks Too Late" Guy

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Once someone gives up their seat for an elderly person, this is the guy who acts as though he was about to offer but someone just beat him to it.

4. The Smelly Guy

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Whenever you're in a tight crowd, there's always the one guy who just flat out smells bad. He never gets off at the next stop. Non-smelly guys always check their armpits to see if it's them and then get self-conscious that everyone now thinks they're the stinker.

5. The Territorial Guy

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This is the guy who has his power stance right by the door, even though it's least convenient for everyone.

6. The Zoned In On A Seat Guy

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Once someone gets up, this guy is already ready to pounce on the open seat.

7. The Performers

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These guys often come in groups. They're on the subway with the goal of providing low budget entertainment. NEVER make eye contact with them, they expect a tip.

8. The Smelly Food Guy

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Never just decides to get a salad. "I'll take the smelliest thing on the menu!"

9. The Really Lost Guy

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These people generally keep looking at the map. They're always heading in the wrong direction.

10. The "Lost In The Music Guy"

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This is the guy with the giant headphones who is rockin' out to whatever song he's listening to.

11. The "Get The Eff Out Of My Way!" Lady

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This lady doesn't understand that it's not your fault that the subway is crowded and that everything is moving slowly. Get out of her way, she will kill you.

12. The Slutty Girls

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Sometimes fate seats them next to the "Sneaky College Kids Who Actually Have Rum In Their Coke Bottle". That's how true love happens.

13. The Guy Carrying Something Enormous

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Word to the wise.........if you need to bring your cello across the city, get a cab.

14. The Crazy Person

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And finally, the crazy person. There's always open seats near them......and they're never worth sitting in. This person is a living stereotype of all of our irrational subway fears.