Hello. I am a boring, fortysomething suburban dad. I get my boring, suburban dad haircut at Supercuts in 10 minutes. Most people don't even realize I got a cut, and they certainly don't go, "Whoa! Your hair, man! That's incredible!"
If right about now you're thinking, Hmm. This is kind of a weird start to a BuzzFeed post. Should someone check on this guy? Well...
BUT! The reason I told you all of the above is because while I, a boring suburban dad, may not be in a position to be "the guy with the hair!" I DO sometimes dream of what could be:
Like this guy who turned his hair into pizza. Amazing! Probably not amazing for a PTA meeting, but amazing!
Then there's this scarily cool hairdo! My hair is too short to pull this off, but maybe the wife will do it. Let me check...be right back...OK, she said it's a hard no. Still, kudos to you, skull hair woman!
This person has a boat in their hair! I want a boat in my hair! But could I maintain authority while yelling at my kids to do their homework with a boat in my hair? These are the things that give me pause, you see.
Angry Birds! You know, I actually could see this one for me. I wonder if my wife agrees. Let me check...oh, wow! She's laughing! Is that "yes, get it, honey!" laughter? It is not? Ah. OK. Understood.
TENNIS BALL HAIR! Hold on now! This is it! I don't have the money for a midlife crisis Corvette...but I could do this. Should I? Maybe people would call me "Ol' tennis ball head!" and it'd be a funny thing, not something that gets me shunned by my community. What do you think?