By this point in history, we all generally understand how things work on this big, round ball.
But way back when, the early people who experienced things for the very first time must have been thrown for a loop! For example, as the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer describes below, seeing the first sunset was traumatic!
Here are some more firsts in history that must have been absolutely wild:
1.
The first person to say “blow smoke up my ass” ,,,, ok that was weird of you.
2.
Imagine being the first person to test a parachute
3.
who was the first person to see a potato and be like “we should eat that”
4.
the first person to tell a joke probably got scared right after
5.
So, who was the first person to see an egg come out of a chicken's ass and say, "I'm gonna eat that."
6.
The first person to ever hear a Parrot speak was probably not ok for several days.
7.
the first person to discover sleeping must have been like ok what the fuck where did i go
8.
The first person to walk into the battlefield with a full suit of armour must have scared the sh*t out of their enemies.
9.
The first guy to discover milk probably did a lot of other weird shit
10.
The first person to say "I always give 110%" must have blown people's fucking minds. Like, they probably told their friends about it.
11.
the first person to clap must have been like what the fuck am i doing
12.
who was the first person to think to put words on girl’s underwear. do u think he was very horny or a murderer
13.
Whoever first said to herself , "boil the dumpling first and then fry it" .. your legacy lives on and i hope you are resting in the purest form of peace. 🙏🏾
14.
Whoever first spelled Wednesday made it a lot harder than it had to be
15.
i wonder if the first guy to see an elephant was just like, wow his penis is on his face and it’s huge AND he can use it to pick up stuff. then looked down at his own tiny penis in sadness
16.
Imagine the first person that ever threw up. They were probably so fuckin scared
17.
@barstoolsports @gonepatrol No way the first person to try hang-gliding survived.
18.
The first person to ever masturbate must've been like YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
19.
The first guy to eat cottage cheese must of had a hard time convincing others they can eat cottage cheese
20.
Ever wonder who the first person was to think, ‘Hey I’m gonna hop on that 1500lb Bull, Wanna time how long I last before it tries to kills me?’
21.
[first person to ever have their stomach growl] what the actual fuck
22.
Imagine the balls it took to be the first person to use a hanky. To just stand before God and a room full of people and just calmly fold up and put a piece of cloth you just blew snot into back into your pocket for later.
23.
can you imagine being the first person to try caviar. just tear open a fish and eat whatever the fuck freaky beads fall out of it
24.
I wonder who the first person was to look at a beehive and think, "those bastards are hiding something delicious in there, I know it!" 🤔
25.
The first person to taste 'chocolate' must have been very trusting
26.
As much as I love maple syrup I can't help but wonder who the first person was to see a tree oozing fluid and think....."I bet that shit would taste great on pancakes."
27.
Sometimes I zone out for hours, wondering who the first person to ever shave was and what made them do that.
28.
The first person to make popcorn must have been seriously freaking out.
29.
The first person to ever eat a lobster must've been pretty hungry.
30.
the first person to use “i know what you are but what am i” must’ve sent the other person to the shadow realm
Basically:
