We Ranked The Stuff People Hand Out On Halloween

There's a big difference between a full-sized bar and raisins.

17. Nothing

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Their house is decorated for Halloween and the porch light is on, but no one answers the door. Lame.

16. Religious pamphlets like chick tracts

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Not only do you not want these, but you have to listen to a lecture about how evil Halloween is as you get them.

15. Healthy snacks like raisins or apples

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Ain't nobody got time for healthy snacks on Halloween.

14. Pencils and/or erasers

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Sure, you can probably use these at school, but "I got things I can use at school!" is not what you want to say on Halloween.

13. Toothbrushes and/or floss

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Listen up, dentists — This is the one day a year we get to gorge on candy, so cool it with the toothbrushes, alright?

12. Stickers

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Stickers are more fun than a toothbrush, but a LONG way from candy.

11. Small toys like spider rings and vampire teeth

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These are definitely more fun than stickers (at least until Halloween is over in a few hours), but again... they ain't candy!

10. Fruit snacks

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Fruit snacks are pretty tasty, but your mom probably buys them on the reg. The same cannot be said for sweet, sweet candy.

9. Old people candy

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These are good, but also taste kind of... sad. And how long did the person who gave them to you have them in their cabinet. Days? Months? Years?

8. Soda cans

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Gee, thank you, for this giant brick I will have to carry in my bag the rest of the night.

7. Gum

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Gum is fun but strangely dissatisfying on Halloween. And why is it so hard?

6. Dollar store candy

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Granted, you can hit some name-brand candy jackpots at the dollar store. But a lot of it is strange off-brand candy and damaged, almost-expired name-brand candy. With your luck, that's the kind you'll end up with.

5. Homemade treats

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This one was tough to rank because homemade treats from a neighbor you trust can be absolutely delicious. But homemade treats from a random house somewhere on your route? Cold shivers.

4. Rolls or baggies of coins

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These may sit heavy in your bag, but they can be used to buy actual candy of your choice after October 31st.

3. Self-serve candy

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If you get to the basket before some a-hole kids dump the lot of it into their bags, you CAN get some good candy... that has been exposed to the elements.

2. "Fun-size" candy bars

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There's nothing fun about the "fun-size." In fact, it's more like "unsatisfying-size." Still, these ARE the good stuff, so yum.

1. Full-size candy bars

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Praise hands! The holy grail of trick-or-treating.