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Updated on Aug 22, 2020. Posted on Nov 22, 2014

The 17 Most Traumatizing Moments Of Being A New Parent

Those first few months are guaranteed to freak you out.

1. Driving your newborn home from the hospital.


At about ten miles per hour the whole way.

2. Carrying the baby through your home for the first time.

Warner Bros.

You've never thought about not dropping something more in your life.

3. When everyone leaves and it's just you and the baby.



4. Trying not to touch (or look at) your baby's umbilical stump as you change their diaper.


5. And then, when the thing finally falls off, having to pick it up and drop it in the trash.

New Line Cinema

6. When you notice your baby has gone mysteriously quiet.

The CW

"Oh! She's just sleeping. Well, snore or something, baby!"

7. Watching your eight-year-old nephew hold the baby.

Zazi Films

8. Getting spit up on.

Just hopefully not in the mouth.

9. Accidentally knocking your baby's head against the doorjamb and making them cry.


10. Getting peed on mid diaper change.

Just hopefully not in the mouth.

11. Finally daring to take your baby out in public and having someone sneeze right next to them.


12. The first time you leave your baby in the care of someone else.

Capitol Records

"I'll call to see how you're doing in 90 seconds. You'll be okay until then, right?"

13. When your baby scratches their face and draws blood.



14. And then having to cut their tiny talons for the first time.

Comedy Central

All you can think about is how people told you it's super easy to cut their fingers.

15. Changing your first blowout diaper.


How could all of that have come out of something so tiny?

16. Waiting for the doctor at your baby's first checkup.

Is everything normal? The baby is normal, right? Please let everything be normal!"

17. And the moment when you look down at your tiny little baby and realize they're not so tiny anymore.

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