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30 Kids Who Ruined Their Parents' Day Faster Than You Can Say, "Oh Sh—"

If you need a "My kids aren't so bad" pick-me-up, this one's for you.

1. This mom who was convinced her daughter was being haunted by a ghost baby:

2. And this mom who also probably thinks she's living in a horror film:

Twitter: @laurabaileyvo

3. This dad who was feeling his wife's dress design...until he found out it wasn't the work of, say, Stella McCartney, but their baby throwing up:

4. This mom who had to suffer through explaining that she did not, in fact, have a mouse in her butt:

Great... my 3 year old saw me pull a tampon out & now she’s going around saying mommy had a mouse in her butt

Twitter: @virgoosunmami

5. And this dad who didn't want his coffee anyway:

2y.o eating his lunch: “Papa’s coffee hot?” Me: “Yeah baby it’s hot, don’t touch.” 2y.o: “Me blow on it for Papa?” It was at this point I witnessed with horror, my 2y.o attempt to blow on my freshly made coffee, only to spit a half eaten chicken nugget straight into it..

Twitter: @papaneedscoffee

6. This parent who accidentally washed a diaper and now has to deal with this:

7. This parent who had to have a very awkward conversation with Amazon:

8. And this mom whose kid gave her the opposite of a confidence boost:

My 7 year old: *staring at my face* Me: What is it, sweetie? My 7 year old: Is my nose weird, too? Kids are delightful.

Twitter: @ThisOneSayz

9. This mom whose neighbor now thinks she does cocaine, thanks to her kiddo:

My 3 year old calls Flonase "mommy's special nose medicine" and now my neighbor thinks I do cocaine.

Twitter: @someboysmother

10. This parent who discovered that their toddler threw a few new, uh, toys into the bath:

11. This parent who's going to have to write a very large check to the plumber:

12. This mom whose kid totally sold her out:

Woman in my train carriage smoothly telling the conductor that her son is travelling free because he’s only four, while the kid repeatedly yells: “BUT I’M NOT FOUR”

Twitter: @anitathetweeter

13. This dad who is going to have PTSD flashbacks of this moment:

shoutout to my 6yo who, during one of her Zoom classes, brought the laptop into the bathroom while I was taking a shower, causing me to scream “TURN OFF THE CAMERA” several times while she screamed “I CAN’T HEAR YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE TAKING A SHOWER”

Twitter: @bwecht

14. And this parent whose kid swallowed a penny AND a SIM key:

15. This parent who was looking forward to a delicious breakfast, but alas...:

16. This parent who needs answers:

My son lost his cello. A cello. A whole cello which is as big as he is. Do you know how big a cello is? How do you lose a cello? I need answers. I don't understand what's happening.

Twitter: @barbierabra

17. And this parent who maybe has a right to be even more exasperated:

We cant find my 6 year olds glasses. Today we asked him where they are. He said and I quote “I threw them in the garbage yesterday, the lenses were dirty”. $400 - see yeah!

Twitter: @jessemodz

18. This dad whose kid is lowering their home's resale value bite by bite:

19. And this parent whose kid is lowering their car's value even faster:

20. This dad who definitely had to deal with pee somewhere:

me, laying on the couch toddler: dad, I didn't go peepee anywhere. I want you to know I didn't. me, getting off the couch

Twitter: @HenpeckedHal

21. This parent who learned their kid is not going to be a mathematician (and passing math is up in the air too): 

22. This parent whose kid "would shit":

23. And — dear lord — this parent who found out their kid drew this on the back of their schoolwork:

24. This mom whose day hit a high point, then absolutely cratered a second later:

6yo (to her crying brother): "It's okay to be sad, sometimes we need to let our feelings out, just let yourself be sad." Me: "Oh darling, that's so lovely, well done. Why is he crying?" 6yo: "I hit him." #mumlife

Twitter: @elspells13

25. This parent whose kid is a future grifter (and DEFINITELY the parent of the Oreo-obsessed kid):

26. This parent whose clueless kid is responsible for this bit of cringe:

27. This parent who had to watch their kid do this in front of all the other parents:

28. This mom whose kid ruined the whole batch:

My 4-year-old took a bite out of all of the muffins to determine his favorite. The verdict: Banana nut They were all banana nut.

Twitter: @mommajessiec

29. This mom who...well, I don't need to do any explaining here:

A baby walks in wet cement

30. And this parent whose kid stepped all over their birthday joy: