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Parents

17 Milestones You Won't Find In The Baby Books

There are first steps... and then there are these.

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1. Climbs onto something ridiculously high.

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You'll be horrified, yet strangely impressed.

2. Writes on the wall.

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This is an expensive way to see how developed your kid's motor skills are.

3. Hides car keys.

You'll never let your baby play with your keys again.
Flickr: melinnis / Via Creative Commons

You'll never let your baby play with your keys again.

4. Pulls a carton of eggs off the counter.

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You'l be convinced your kid has Go-Go Gadget Arms.

5. Imprints on Elmo.

You'll find this adorable. At first.
Flickr: mnicolem / Via Creative Commons

You'll find this adorable. At first.

6. Screams "Mine!"

This is the time to remind yourself your kid's social skills are still developing.
Flickr: semillama / Via Creative Commons

This is the time to remind yourself your kid's social skills are still developing.

7. Breaks parent's glasses.

For parents, glasses are often collateral damage.
Flickr: quinnanya / Via Creative Commons

For parents, glasses are often collateral damage.

8. Tells you "no."

Yay! A preview of the teenage years.
Flickr: quinnanya / Via Creative Commons

Yay! A preview of the teenage years.

9. Runs away from you in public.

This is also a milestone for you as it's the first time you yell, "Get back here right this instant!"
Flickr: ajay13 / Via Creative Commons

This is also a milestone for you as it's the first time you yell, "Get back here right this instant!"

10. Harasses the family dog.

This is the first and only milestone your dog will notice.
Flickr: benmcleod / Via Creative Commons

This is the first and only milestone your dog will notice.

11. Bonks their head on the counter.

You'll think, "My baby has really grown! And needs a helmet."
Flickr: bibbit / Via Creative Commons

You'll think, "My baby has really grown! And needs a helmet."

12. Stands up in a shopping cart.

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It'll scare the crap out of you (and be the last time you forget to fasten the seatbelt).

13. Puts something nasty in their mouth.

It's a milestone for their immune system, too.
Flickr: 68295558@N05 / Via Creative Commons

It's a milestone for their immune system, too.

14. Throws a batshit crazy tantrum in public.

The first one is always the worst.
Flickr: brungrrl / Via Creative Commons

The first one is always the worst.

15. Repeats a swear word.

Your baby's first F-bomb is pretty much guaranteed to happen in front of your mother-in-law.
Flickr: sineadfriel / Via Creative Commons

Your baby's first F-bomb is pretty much guaranteed to happen in front of your mother-in-law.

16. Opens the door to get outside.

It's time to use the deadbolt, parents.
Flickr: debcll / Via Creative Commons

It's time to use the deadbolt, parents.

17. Pulls off their own diaper.

Once this happens you'll be like, "Time to potty train this kid. STAT."
Flickr: deepfrieddaddy / Via Creative Commons

Once this happens you'll be like, "Time to potty train this kid. STAT."

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