• lol badge

17 Milestones You Won't Find In The Baby Books

There are first steps... and then there are these.

Mike Spohr
by Mike Spohr

BuzzFeed Staff

1. Climbs onto something ridiculously high.

2. Writes on the wall.

3. Hides car keys.

Flickr: melinnis / Via Creative Commons

You'll never let your baby play with your keys again.

4. Pulls a carton of eggs off the counter.

5. Imprints on Elmo.

Flickr: mnicolem / Via Creative Commons

You'll find this adorable. At first.

6. Screams "Mine!"

Flickr: semillama / Via Creative Commons

This is the time to remind yourself your kid's social skills are still developing.

7. Breaks parent's glasses.

Flickr: quinnanya / Via Creative Commons

For parents, glasses are often collateral damage.

8. Tells you "no."

Flickr: quinnanya / Via Creative Commons

Yay! A preview of the teenage years.

9. Runs away from you in public.

Flickr: ajay13 / Via Creative Commons

This is also a milestone for you as it's the first time you yell, "Get back here right this instant!"

10. Harasses the family dog.

Flickr: benmcleod / Via Creative Commons

This is the first and only milestone your dog will notice.

11. Bonks their head on the counter.

Flickr: bibbit / Via Creative Commons

You'll think, "My baby has really grown! And needs a helmet."

12. Stands up in a shopping cart.

13. Puts something nasty in their mouth.

Flickr: 68295558@N05 / Via Creative Commons

It's a milestone for their immune system, too.

14. Throws a batshit crazy tantrum in public.

Flickr: brungrrl / Via Creative Commons

The first one is always the worst.

15. Repeats a swear word.

Flickr: sineadfriel / Via Creative Commons

Your baby's first F-bomb is pretty much guaranteed to happen in front of your mother-in-law.

16. Opens the door to get outside.

Flickr: debcll / Via Creative Commons

It's time to use the deadbolt, parents.

17. Pulls off their own diaper.

Flickr: deepfrieddaddy / Via Creative Commons

Once this happens you'll be like, "Time to potty train this kid. STAT."