Kids are home for the summer, which on one hand is good for parents — no more school drop-off line, no more making lunches your kids don't eat, and no more "I need a shark costume for school tomorrow" at 9:13 p.m. the night before.
But — ON THE OTHER FREAKING HAND — having your kids home all day, all summer is no walk in the park either:
My son just asked me if he could play connect the dots on my arm if anyone is wondering how our summer break is going.
Need more convincing? Here are 29 reasons parents might be losing it right now:
1. First, your kids will have way too much time on their hands:
I made my bed and found a half eaten stick of butter in it. When I asked my child if she put anything in mommy’s bed, she said “I did not put butter in it.” The mystery continues. More at 11.
3. Like, seriously WTF-inducing "no good":
6. You'll stress about how much time your kids spend on electronics while simultaneously being confused by what the heck they do on them:
Today my 7 year-old came into the room crying. I asked him what happened and he said that his 5 year-old brother put 80 cows in his house in Minecraft while he was offline and that it was "entirely too many cows" and honest to christ I have no idea how to parent any of this.
7. To try and stave off "summer brain drain," you'll encourage your kids to do something creative, but you'll regret it:
My daughter just asked me how to spell squirrel. I found out that she was writing a book. Now she’s grounded for 12 years.
8. Like, REALLY regret it:
12. If you decide to go on a summer trip, you'll have to do all the trip prep for your kid. 'Cause if you don't...:
Trusted my kid to pack for the trip herself and she brought zero underwear and two kaleidoscopes.
13. You should also expect the travel experience to be A) the opposite of relaxing, and B) super embarrassing:
RT @Kristen_Arnett: kid behind me on this plane has asked and then answered one million pertinent questions about our flight including “how…
16. And even if your kid doesn't lose your keys in the sand, they'll find some other way to mess up the fun:
My son told me he learned that octopuses can climb through small cracks so he’s scared to swim in the ocean because an octopus might climb inside his butt and now I’m scared to swim in the ocean too.
18. And when you get back from the trip, guess what? Your kids will be bored again and go back to doing ridiculous things:
My children are currently trying to murder each other because my 8 year old son won’t stop telling my 5 year old daughter that her real birth name is “Big Jim”.
20. You'll be like...LOL?
my 10-year-old son just took my phone and texted this to my wife
22. They'll also just do generally dumb stuff:
Thinking about having kids? My son poured syrup in every floor vent. 13 years later it still smells like waffles every time the heat comes on.
23. And — I can't overemphasize this enough — they will complain about being BORED:
My 5yo asked me if we could go to someone else’s house because he says we go to our house a lot
27. They will also stop you in the middle of a work call to ask you stuff like this:
6 yo son: Who would win a fight between a hippo and a lion? Me: I dunno, maybe the hippo because he’s big and can stomp? 6: Wrong, the lion has a knife.
WITH ALL OF THAT SAID...
...maybe we shouldn't look forward too much to "back to school" time because it comes with its own blood pressure-raising ridiculousness:
Apparently my kid got in trouble today for PACKING OUR TOASTER IN HIS BACKPACK and pulling it out at lunch to make pop tarts for his class. I can’t stop laughing.