Mmmm...there's nothing quite like enjoying a meal that was prepared by an amazing cook, you know?
But, sadly, not all cooks deserve to wear the funny hat...or even to get within 20 feet of a kitchen.
So by the power vested in me by absolutely no one, I hereby ban these 25 culinary monsters from cooking ever again:
1.
Trying to sell burritos that you WRAPPED ON THE FREAKING FLOOR?!?! You, madam, are BANNED!!!
2. Getting sky-high on the job and giving away a bunch of food out the back door? That is a BAN-EROONI, my friend!
3. Charging god knows how much for this "handful of jam" monstrosity? Talk to the hand — you're BANNED!
4. And speaking of hands...putting yours there before you prepare food is a surefire way to get banned!
5. Daddy's diaper? DADDY'S DIAPER? BANNED, BANNED, BANNED!!!!
6.
I don't care how many people watched this prank on TikTok...you cook steak in an airplane bathroom, you get banned!
Here's the video of this "cook" joining their own version of the mile-high club:
7. Putting mac 'n' cheese and Chef Boyardee into tortillas and calling them tacos ? Say it with me, people...BANNED!
8. And the same goes for this home chef selling ramen and a few chips for $12!
9. Cooking naked? Check. Messy-ass kitchen? Check. Fish that look like they've seen some things? Check, check, and check. BANNED!
10. This high-AF college kid tried to cook Spam on his desk using hand sanitizer. BANNED! And call home immediately, kid.
11. Pizza? A PIZZA? THIS PERSON SERIOUSLY THOUGHT THEY'D MADE A PIZZA?!?! BBBAAANNNEEEDDDD!!!!
Me if that pizza got delivered to my door:
12. Here's an easy recipe for getting banned: Thaw a steak on a wooden ledge in a nasty kitchen next to a cleaning brush!
13. Whoever made this meal isn't just banned, they're in desperate need of a long walk where they think about their life choices.
14.
And speaking of feet, you put 'em near the chicken, you get banned!
15. Here's the good news, chef. You invented the salmonella burger — congrats. The bad news? You're banned.
16. This chicken probably won't kill you ("probably" doing a lot of work here), but still — look at that thing. BANNED!!!
17. Does the food look halfway decent? Maybe. But cooking in a toilet? No, no, no! Banned!
18. Oh — and if your meal looks as if it belongs in a toilet...that's a "You're banned!!!"
19.
Cooking in a kitchen with THAT many cats? No thanks. Banned!
Watch the video here where she's like, "Welcome to Mama's kitchen where everything is made with love...and cat hair. Lots and lots of cat hair!"
20. Daring to make food this crappy for senior citizens? Ah, hell naw. Put on your sunglasses because you're Ray-BANNED!
21. You cannot cook on a stove this nasty and escape my judgment! BANNED!
22. Ugh. If you're a chef who uses this meat, you know what it means!
23. I'm not banning the cook here (although the jury is still out, so don't get comfortable, spaghetti boy) but I AM 100% banning this gross roommate!
24. This chef kind of offends me more than anyone else on this list! Soooooo banned!
25. And lastly, this kid is BANNED...temporarily. Once his culinary ideas involve, like, not pouring milk onto salad, he's welcome back into the kitchen.
