1."My mom said they only named hurricanes after girls otherwise they would be himicanes."
2."When I was a kid my parents warned me that if I pressed the 'reset' button on the power outlet the house would explode."
3."My dad told me the rumble strips on the highway were for blind drivers."
4."When we went to the store my mom used to tell me, 'Every time you touch something a kitten dies.'"
5."My grandma told us that smelling each other's farts would make us stronger. Worst Christmas ever for us, funniest Christmas for her."
6."My mom told me that drag racers were two men running down the street in women's clothing."
7."I told my kids that if they didn't behave in the drive-thru they'd get a Sad Meal."
8."My dad convinced me that our last name literally translated to 'of Caesar' and that we were direct descendant of the rulers of Rome. I felt like a badass until I started taking Latin classes in middle school."
9."My mom got tired of my brother and me eating her scallops, so she told us they were dolphin balls."
10."My friend ripped open a handwarmer, and when the powder got on his hands his parents told him his hands would disintegrate by age 30. We looked up what disintegrate meant later that night, and he bawled hysterically while staring at his hands."
11."My flatmate grew up on a farm and was told by her parents that their TV only worked when it rained."
12."My dad told me people only get 10,000 words per month. If you reach the limit, you can't physically speak until the new month begins. Anytime I was especially talkative, dad would say, 'Careful, you're over 9,000 by now.'"
13.“Grandpa told me that there's a tube connecting my belly button to my butt, and that if I unscrewed my belly button my butt would fall off.”
14."Mum told me 7-Eleven was only open from 7 p.m. to 11 p.m., and that 7 p.m. was far too late to have a Slurpee."
15."Living on the West Coast, my friend showed the East Coast feed of the New Year's Eve countdown to her kids, then had them in bed just after nine."
16."Grandma said: 'If you wander off, the boogie man will kill you and make sausage out of you.'"
17."My mom told my brother and me that a penguin lived behind the fridge, and if we left the door open too long we'd steal his cold and he'd get mad and come out and bite us."
18."My father told me that pears were apples from outer space."
19."My father always said the animals on the side of the road were just taking a nap because the road was warm."
20."As a kid I put a tooth in a plastic bag and slid it under my pillow for the tooth fairy. When my parents forgot to put money under my pillow, my dad said, 'You shouldn't have put the tooth in a bag. The tooth fairy couldn't smell it.'"
21."When my daughters were little I told them that if they burped, farted, and sneezed at the same time, they would turn inside out."