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Don't ask a pregnant lady "do you know the sex?" obviously she knows about sex she's pregnant you stupid idiot
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I just left a voicemail and said " please call me back at your convenience. Amen." Instead of "goodbye". #pregnancybrain is real y'all
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5 Stages of Pregnancy: 1: Crying 2: Peeing 3: Crying because you peed 4: Peeing because you're crying 5: The toilet is your home now
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My latest #pregnancybrain adventure happened yday noon. Went to the bank to collect my car grant. Thought e/thing was fine until the bank called in the eve to tell me that.. I was not in their database of clients. Guys, I went to the WRONG BANK. My actual bank was just NEXT DOOR.
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I am "gets winded putting my socks on" weeks pregnant.
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The next woman that tells me how much they loved being pregnant is getting throat punched. #pregnancysucks
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#pregnant #pregnancy #preggers #stewie #stewiegriffin #familyguy #girl #girls #women #females #ladies #woman #female
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(I am 6 months pregnant) Me after ordering my coffee: Stranger at Starbucks: you know you should be drinking decaf when you’re pregnant. Me: I’m... not pregnant. Stranger: (horrified) I am so, so sorry! And that’s what you get for giving unsolicited advice.
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Tonight I ate pulled pork on ice cream with hot Tequila lime caramel sauce.
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At that point in the final stage of pregnancy where after I drop something on the floor I say to myself, “I’ll just pick that up once the baby is here.” 🤰🏼
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Well it finally happened in my 8th month of pregnancy, I just sat on a man’s hand and bag when he wouldn’t move them off the last spare seat on the bus. We’re now sharing a very quiet ride.
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Nice and Cozy #pregnancyhumor
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I told my husband to put the oreos somewhere I couldn't get them. So he put them on the floor. #pregnancyproblems #thirdtrimesterwoes
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pregnancy, a synopsis: my Apple Watch told me to get up and move.. so I got up and moved my ass to the pantry for a snack #pregnancylife
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"Being pregnant and trying to play with a toddler is like being permanently hungover and trying to catch a honey badger."
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7-year-old upon learning I am pregnant: "It's the breastfeeding that will get ya. Breastfeeding is killer."
Which pregnancy jokes made you bust out laughing? Let us know in the comments below!
This article contains content from Mike Sphor and Asia McLain. It was compiled by Salimah McCullough.