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31 Truths About Raising Kids That You Won’t Find In A Parenting Book

Because parenting is rarely by the book.

1. Once your kid tastes Cinnamon Toast Crunch, the jig is up.

2. The same goes for chocolate milk.

3. Babies' heads are magnetically attracted to doorways.

4. When you do accidentally hurt your kid, try not to beat yourself up over it too much.

5. The theme song from Ghostbusters makes for an awesome parent-kid jam long before it's appropriate for your kid to watch the actual movie.

6. When you desperately need a second to yourself, ask your kid to bring you something.

7. The knock off American Girl doll clothes at Target are WAY cheaper and your kid will love them.

8. At some point your kid will say something in public that hugely embarrasses you.

9. Don’t let your kid fall asleep within five minutes of getting home or they'll be up for hours.

10. You will never be able to go to a McDonald’s with a Playland and leave without your kid playing in it.

11. If you call frozen yogurt "ice cream," your kids won't know the difference for a surprisingly long time.

12. Never give your toddler your phone without putting it on guided access.

13. When your kid asks "Can I get that?" act just as excited about it while saying "For your birthday!"

14. Put off letting your kid get down out of the shopping cart for as long as possible.

15. You also need to know that your kid will be able to spot every unhealthy item you don't want them to have in the grocery store.

16. No item of baby clothing is so cute that it's worth dealing with complicated washing instructions.

17. When all else fails and your kids are acting up, let them go outside and run around.

18. Your kid will almost always rat you out to their other parent.

19. Gaining weight is a whole lot easier when you have kids.

20. Never give your kid a bedside glass of water unless you're cool with taking them to the bathroom at 3 a.m.

21. Every once in a while you should buy the souvenir photo.

22. Try not to take it to heart when your kid says something rude like, "Why do you have so many more gray hairs than Tommy's mommy?"

23. Legos make awesome bath toys and don’t get moldy.

24. If you tell your kids that foods like broccoli and Brussels sprouts will make them pass gas, theyʼll suddenly be interested in eating them.

25. You should always think twice before offering anyone a ride.

26. Nap time is when you get stuff done.

27. If you're not careful, your Netflix account will eventually only suggest kids’ shows.

28. Make your kid try to pee (whether they say they need to or not) whenever you leave a place with a toilet.

29. Speaking of pee: Always bring a change of clothes not just for your kid, but for yourself too.

30. Take toys your kid has lost interest in and put them in a box in the closet. Later, when your kid is bored, pull out the box and let your kid go “toy shopping.”

31. Lastly, make up a handshake or phrase of endearment you only use with your kid and no one else.

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