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31 Truths About Raising Kids That You Won’t Find In A Parenting Book

Because parenting is rarely by the book.

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5. The theme song from Ghostbusters makes for an awesome parent-kid jam long before it's appropriate for your kid to watch the actual movie.


9. Don’t let your kid fall asleep within five minutes of getting home or they'll be up for hours.

Flickr: klif / Via Creative Commons

"Hey! Let's sing the 'We're Almost Home' song! WE'RE ALMOST HOME! NO SLEEPING! WE'RE ALMOST HOME!"

10. You will never be able to go to a McDonald’s with a Playland and leave without your kid playing in it.

Your kid may say they're fine with only having lunch on the way in, but they'll change their tune once they've polished off their Happy Meal.


15. You also need to know that your kid will be able to spot every unhealthy item you don't want them to have in the grocery store.

Channel 4 UK / Via

So scope out the aisles in advance and plan your shopping route accordingly.


22. Try not to take it to heart when your kid says something rude like, "Why do you have so many more gray hairs than Tommy's mommy?"


Because it won't be long before they say something like, "You're the best mommy in the world!" (That one, of course, will be totally true.)


24. If you tell your kids that foods like broccoli and Brussels sprouts will make them pass gas, theyʼll suddenly be interested in eating them.

25. You should always think twice before offering anyone a ride.

Flickr: span112 / Via Creative Commons

Because it's all too easy to say, "Sure, you can ride with me!" then remember as you walk the 40 feet to your car that the inside is an absolute disaster area.

27. If you're not careful, your Netflix account will eventually only suggest kids’ shows.


To avoid this, set up a profile for your kid and use it whenever you search for shows for them. That way your profile will still suggest movies with actual adults in them.


28. Make your kid try to pee (whether they say they need to or not) whenever you leave a place with a toilet.


Because kids will say they don't have to pee until "I HAVE TO PEE RIGHT NOW I CAN'T HOLD IT OH NO I'M PEEING!"