7. “When my daughter was 2 she would call flowers ‘fuckers.’ It was the worst when we were out in public and she’d yell, ‘Mama, look at all the fuckers!’ I always had to loudly add, ‘Yeah, I see all those flowers!’ so people wouldn’t judge me.”
15. “When my daughter started kindergarten, they said the Pledge of Allegiance each morning. I asked her to recite it for me one day and in the middle of it she said, ‘…and to the republic for Richard Stanz…’ I asked her if she said ‘Richard Stanz’ and she said, ‘Yeah. Who’s that?’”
23. “My son use to be obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine. His favorite train was Percy, but he couldn’t say his R’s so he pronounced it ‘pussy.’ He’d go around saying, ‘I love pussy!’ It was both horrifying and hilarious.”
—Ashley Vecchio Michaelsen, Facebook
Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
- Hillary Clinton returned to the public arena in one of her first political appearances since the election, urging Democrats to "keep fighting."
- President Trump addressed the Conservative Political Action Conference, or CPAC, where he lashed out at the media and defended his agenda.
- The White House strongly denies reports that Chief of Staff Reince Priebus urged the FBI to undermine stories linking Trump to Russia.
- Kim Jong Nam, the half-brother of North Korea's leader, was killed with a chemical weapon last week at an airport in Malaysia.