Parents·Posted on Jan 9, 202325 Hysterical Parents Whose Tweets Could Double As Birth ControlWe parents have fun, don't we?by Mike SpohrBuzzFeed StaffFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink If you have kids, you know: raising the little suckers isn't easy. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF NBC 1. Like, it's really hard: Schmuck Ado About Nothing @SchmuckOnAHorse Raising the dead is easier than raising kids. 02:31 PM - 04 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @SchmuckOnAHorse 2. People without kids like to think us parents are exaggerating, but we really do wake up to things like THIS: Rhyming Mama @sarabellab123 Of all the terrible ways to be woken up I think, “mommy, my fart is on the floor,” takes the cake. 😳😂 01:01 PM - 07 Nov 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @sarabellab123 3. You've got to keep it together in the face of all the madness: KJ @IDontSpeakWhine Parenting little kids is mostly screaming "What the fuck!" in your head, but really saying things like "No thank you, I do not want to hold your booger." 12:07 PM - 07 Oct 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @IDontSpeakWhine 4. And you learn things...the hard way: kidversations @kidversations_ The lid on our bottle of glitter is not childproof. I know this now. 09:23 PM - 20 May 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @kidversations_ 5. You don't always feel the love: James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid? Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. 8: It's Mom. 04:38 PM - 04 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @XplodingUnicorn 6. And you're not even able to get two minutes of privacy: meghan @deloisivete me: I just want 2 minutes of privacy in the bathroom my kid: best I can do is a paleontology lecture 12:33 AM - 28 Jan 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @deloisivete 7. THIS has become your idea of "relaxing": One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom You might be a mom if a brazilian wax is considered relaxing because it’s quiet and you get to lie down and close your eyes 04:43 PM - 02 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @oneawkwardmom 8. Your partner might not help as much as you imagined: SpacedMom @copymama My husband’s version of helping out with the kids is yelling “COME ON, GUYS!” from the couch. 02:02 PM - 03 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @copymama 9. And you'll have a smaller version of them to deal with, too: Dadof2Boys @Dadof2crazyboys Parenting is getting yelled at by a smaller version of your spouse. 01:38 PM - 27 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @Dadof2crazyboys 10. Your kids are super chill when you ask them to do simple tasks: Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ @maryfairybobrry I was a terrible mother and told my kids I hate them today. Well what I really said was, please pick your towels up off the floor but apparently it’s the same thing 07:15 PM - 28 Dec 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @maryfairybobrry 11. And they're REALLY chill about going to sleep (chokes on sarcasm): Kevin The Dad @kevinthedad 0.154268 seconds. That’s how long my preschooler spends lying on their pillow before proclaiming “it’s too hard to sleep!” 01:12 PM - 30 Dec 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @kevinthedad 12. Also quite the challenge? Getting your kids to eat well: meghan @deloisivete me: you need to eat more fruit my kids: ok let’s make a smoothie me: my kids: me: not like that 05:02 PM - 04 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @deloisivete 13. In fact, your kids eating habits have probably come very close to breaking you (if they haven't already): LaughCryCoffee @laughcrycoffee My kid: *refuses chicken nuggets and French fries* Also my kid: *hides behind the couch to eat lotion and diaper cream* 07:18 PM - 03 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @laughcrycoffee 14. Sometimes you don't feel qualified to be a parent: Emily Favreau @emilyfavreau Understanding baby/toddler/children’s shoe sizing requires an advanced degree that I do not have. 07:25 PM - 22 Dec 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @emilyfavreau 15. And colds are like Pokémon...you'll catch them all: Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3 “This is not what I meant by sharing” I yell at my kids after catching the fifth cold of the school year 11:40 PM - 05 May 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @reallifemommy3 16. Things get more than a little awkward at times: KJ @IDontSpeakWhine I was driving with my son when he asked me about the meaning of a bumper sticker that said, "If you're gonna ride my ass at least pull my hair" and WTF?! Why wasn't he looking at his phone like a normal teen?! 12:57 PM - 02 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @IDontSpeakWhine 17. And there are lots of meltdowns...which rarely make any rational sense: Vinod Chhaproo @Chhapiness Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year 05:08 PM - 01 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @Chhapiness 18. Breaks are never really breaks: Snarky Mommy @SnarkyMommy78 Don’t wanna brag but today’s only the second day of winter break and my kids are already “so bored” and have “nothing to eat around here” so we’re way ahead of the game. 03:47 PM - 27 Dec 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @SnarkyMommy78 19. Any preconceived notions you had of how you would parent before kids have gone right out the window: Katie D @KatieDeal99 My parenting style can best be described as “whatever works in the moment” 11:08 PM - 02 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @KatieDeal99 20. And you've significantly lowered your expectations: The Dad @thedad [Me before having kids] ME: I hope my child is absolutely brilliant and goes to Harvard! [Me after having kids] ME: I hope my child is exactly smart enough to go to a cheap state school but still smart enough to figure out how to work the meal plan for free food. 02:38 PM - 04 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @thedad 21. Frankly, you're not dealing with rational beings: An Apple Hat @AnAppleHat Being a toddler must be wild. Imagine thinking your own mother is trying to poison you when they give you a homemade vegetable quesadilla then going and eating the dirt out of a potted plant instead. 11:26 AM - 20 Oct 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @AnAppleHat 22. But every once in a while — just to keep you honest — they turn the tables: Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal My 4 year old came downstairs and asked me what his stuffed bunny did for a living. Over the next few minutes I guessed farmer, fireman, astronaut and race car driver until my son deadpanned, "he doesn't have a job because he's not real," while glaring at me like I'm an idiot. 03:58 PM - 27 Apr 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @HenpeckedHal 23. It's fun: I Hide From My Kids @IHideFromMyKids A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming “WHAT’S THAT” and a driving parent yelling “I CAN’T SEE WHAT YOU’RE POINTING AT” repeat until everyone is crying 08:45 PM - 02 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @IHideFromMyKids 24. Oh, and other parents are fun, too: MumInBits @MumInBits Freya’s mum brought her over to our house to give my twins a Christmas gift. Before she drove off she rolled down her window, looked me dead in the eye and said “have fun”. It’s clear. Freya’s mum is the evil mastermind 09:34 PM - 27 Dec 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @MumInBits 25. But in the end, you wouldn't trade it for anything because your little monsters turn into pretty incredible people: NicholasG @Dad_At_Law Overheard my 11 y/o daughter record her voicemail greeting: “Hi, you’ve reached my voicemail. When you hear the beep, hang up and send me a text.” This generation gets it. 01:07 PM - 06 Dec 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @Dad_At_Law If you found these parents as funny as I did, be sure to give them a follow!