23 Things No Parent Will Admit To Doing

Yes, even you.

1. Belt out songs like a rock star behind closed doors with your kids.

youtube.com

"Me? Oh, I don't sing," you tell people in public. Yeah, right, your kid thinks.

2. You also bust out your finest moves at home.

youtube.com

You dance like no one is watching (except for your kid, that is).

3. Tell your kid it's bedtime 45 minutes before it actually is.

Jeff Randall / Getty Images

Some days you just need to punch out early.

4. Investigate the parents of your kid's friends on social media.

BBC

5. Forget the name of one of your kid’s friend’s parents.

Fox

"Hey...you!"

6. Modify your kid's homework to make it easier on you.

Flickr: alanwat / Via Creative Commons

What the assignment says: "Take your kindergartner to a crowded parking lot and walk around until you find the biggest car! What kind of car is it?"

What you tell your kid it says: "It wants you to name a big car."

7. Toss out a loud and annoying toy.

Flickr: xiombarg / Via Creative Commons

Sorry, kid.

8. Re-enact the “Circle of Life” scene from The Lion King.

youtube.com

9. Use your kid as an excuse to get out of something.

youtube.com

10. Show your kid one of your favorite movies before they're ready.

Universal / Flickr: huphtur / Via Creative Commons

You: "You love dinosaurs, so you're going to love Jurassic Park!"

Twenty minutes later...

Your kid: "AAARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!"

You: "We'll come back to this in a few years."

11. Take candy from waiting rooms to give to your kid.

Flickr: jasonyungny / Via Creative Commons

“Thanks, Mom!” “Don’t thank me, honey. Thank Dr. Heston.”

12. Let your kid have a "snack drawer" dinner.

Flickr: donnieray / Via Creative Commons

You rarely do this — and only on especially exhausting days — but you nevertheless live in fear of your kid saying in front of someone, "Can we eat Cheetos and caramel popcorn for dinner again?"

13. Let your kid play with your phone so you can get a few minutes of peace.

Spohr/BuzzFeed

You might even let your kid go to town with Snapchat filters.

14. You also sometimes let your kid watch a “double feature” when you desperately need a longer break.

instagram.com

15. Order your toddler food at a restaurant just so you can get a little mac ‘n’ cheese.

NBC

16. Pass gas and blame it on your kid.

MCA Records

17. Tell your kid the toy store is closed when it's not.

Flickr: iandeth / Via Creative Commons

18. On the flip side — you sometimes buy your kid something a little extravagant just because.

youtube.com

You: "If anyone asks you where you got it, just say your great-uncle sent it to you."

Your kid: "But I don't have a great-uncle."

You: "You do now."

19. Let your kids wipe their hands on your pants.

Flickr: slworking

“NO, MOM!!! NOT THE BLOWER!!! NO!!!!" “Fine! Just wipe your hands on my pants.”

20. Tell your own “abridged” version of a bedtime story.

Via Creative Commons

You don't turn the page, you turn the pages.

21. Take crazy photos of your kid you wouldn't show anyone outside of your immediate family.

reddit.com / imgur.com

22. Eat your kid’s junk food after they've gone to sleep.

Fox

Your kid: "What happened to all of the Teddy Grahams?"

You: "I, uh, had to throw them out. They were stale."

Your kid: "But we just bought them!"

You: "..."

23. Make up weird songs to sing when your kid does everything from brushing their teeth to making their bed.

youtube.com

"Brush, brush, brush them top teeth! Now the ones on the bottom!"

Parenting Week is a week of content devoted to honoring the hardest job you'll ever love, being a parent. Check out more great Parenting Week content here.

Andrew Richard