Nifty·Posted on Oct 9, 201320 Survival Tips To Get You Through Costco AliveTaking your family to Costco isn’t as difficult as surviving a zombie apocalypse, but it’s close.by Mike SpohrBuzzFeed ContributorFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink Flickr: asmythie 1. Get there early. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Via youtube.com Parking spaces go faster than a cheesecake sample. 2. Never let your kid bring a toy inside with them. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Via mrwgifs.com Because if she loses it in there you are NEVER. EVER. GOING. TO. FIND. IT. 3. Don’t forget your membership card. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Via files.sharenator.com Not just anyone can join this club, you know. Well, that’s not true. Anyone can. But they still won’t let you in without it. 4. Skip the flat bed. d3j5vwomefv46c.cloudfront.net You'll want to strap your kids into the shopping cart so they can’t run around. 5. Don't even think about going in there without a shopping list. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Via gifrific.com I once knew a family who went to Costco just to browse. I miss them. 6. Keep your head down and walk straight to the first item on your list. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Via perezhilton.com You do not want the kids to see the toy section. And your wallet doesn't need you to see all the cool stuff in the electronics section, either. 7. Seriously, don’t let yourself be tempted by big-ticket items. Via Flickr: plasticcandy Via Flickr: plasticcandy flickr.com 8. Visit these lovely people every chance you get. Via 1000reasonstosmile.com "Why, yes, I would like to try a chicken, apple, and herb breakfast sausage." 9. Just be sure to get out of the way once you’ve got your sample. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Via socialcomotion.com 10. Samples are awesome for kids too. Via stuftmama.com If your kids are picky eaters, you'll love that they can try it before you buy it. 11. It's smart to focus on nonperishable items. Via wellywoodtohollywood.com When you buy in bulk, you'll want to be able to take your time eating this stuff. 12. But think twice on perishables. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Via dailyedge.ie I once got a deal on four pounds of shrimp. For the next week I woke up every night in a cold sweat worrying that it'd go bad before I finished it all. 13. You'll want to think about your freezer space too. Via julia-gardner.blogspot.com If your freezer isn’t big enough to stash a body, you probably should pass on that economy-sized box of waffles. 14. It’s easy to get distracted by the Costco-ness of it all. Stay focused. Via Flickr: plasticcandy Yes, those are 14-foot Christmas trees for sale in August. No, you don’t need one. What’s next on the shopping list? 15. Speaking of distractions... Don’t waste time searching for the ark of the covenant. Via nighthawknews.wordpress.com It looks like the same place, I know, but it’s not. Seriously. Stay focused. 16. If you get lost, don't panic. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Via youtube.com 17. Also, don't look up. Via Flickr: plasticcandy Or you'll be in for a serious case of vertigo. 18. Just keep heading in one direction until you see something you recognize. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF stream1.gifsoup.com "There in the distance... Past the industrial sized jar of oatmeal... That's the book section! I know where we are! I KNOW WHERE WE ARE!" 19. Once you have everything on your list, there's one last challenge: checkout. Via homelyplanet.wordpress.com If your kids complain, remind them they have no problem waiting 45 minutes in line at Disneyland. 20. Congratulations! You survived! Via Flickr: plasticcandy Reward the family with a slice of Costco's awesome pizza. And a hot dog. And a churro. Anyone know if they sell this stuff in bulk too?