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    21 Things That Would Happen If Men Got Pregnant

    "I'm totally knocked up, bro."

    1. It would be easy for men to keep their pregnancy secret the first few months because everyone would assume it's a beer belly.

    Pejo29 / Getty Images

    2. Pregnancy announcements would be significantly more low-key.

    3. "Baby brain" would be a valid legal defense.


    4. Presently low-ranking baby names would be very popular.

    TriStar Pictures

    "If it's a boy he's going to be named Rambo. If it's a girl... probably still Rambo."

    5. Baby showers would have a slightly different vibe.

    Flickr: lamenta3 / Via Creative Commons

    6. Pregnancy products would be marketed more directly to men.

    7. The sports page would be very different.

    8. There would be absolutely no judgement for calling in sick with morning sickness.

    Paramount Pictures

    9. Speaking of morning sickness, it would be more commonly known as "the baby barfs."


    "Can't come in today, boss. I got a pretty bad case of the 'ol baby barfs."

    "No problem, Dougie. And god bless you for growing that life inside of you."

    10. The funny pregnancy T-shirt market would boom.

    11. Pregnant men would be really into shopping for baby clothes, too, but not in the same way as women.

    12. Junior would have won Best Picture in 1994.

    Universal Pictures

    And Best Actor would have gone to Arnold Schwarzenegger. Wait. Scratch that. We don't want this post to be too outlandish.

    13. Men would get really annoyed when their partner gushes over dads who got their pre-baby body back.

    Adrian Dennis / Getty Images

    “I mean look at David Beckham! He’s had four kids!”

    14. They'd also be really annoyed by the suggestion that getting kicked in the balls is as painful as childbirth.


    15. And they would commiserate over what it's like giving birth.

    Digital Vision / Via ThinkStock

    16. When craving pie late at night, pregnant men would act sullen and angry instead of asking their partner to get it for them.


    17. This is what maternity pants would look like.

    18. Men would suffer from depression during the third trimester when they can no longer see their penis.

    maurusone / Via ThinkStock

    Stay strong, men.

    19. “Extreme Lamaze” classes would take the nation by storm.

    These are actually exactly the same as regular lamaze class, but men like the word “Extreme!”

    20. Parental leave would almost certainly be longer than it is now.

    Flickr: roberdan / Via Creative Commons

    21. And lastly, men would have an incredible, indescribable feeling of love for their unborn child.

    But that’s no different than how dads-to-be feel now, to be honest.

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