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21 New Year's Resolutions By Toddlers

"I'm going to spend more time at the jungle gym."

1. "I'm going to stop licking all the balls in the ball pit."

Getty Images/iStockphoto haveseen

2. "I won't lose my shit when my mom combs my hair."

Getty Images/iStockphoto Antonio_Diaz

3. "I won't squeeze out half a tub of toothpaste every time I brush my teeth. Also, I'll brush my teeth."

Getty Images/iStockphoto Angel_a

4. "I'll delete fewer of mom's apps."

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5. "I'll play it cool around bubbles instead of clapping and giggling like a trained seal."

Getty Images/iStockphoto ostrinka

6. "I'm going to really work on not making out with myself in the mirror so much."

Getty Images James Woodson

7. "I won't repeat the unfortunate marker incident of June, 2014."

Getty Images/Hemera Vanessa Van rensburg

8. "I'll try to give up pooping in the bath."

Getty Images/iStockphoto Olesia Bilkei

9. "I'm going to finally lose this baby weight."

Getty Images/F1online RF sodapix sodapix

10. "I'll make sure books aren't upside down when I pretend to read them. That's so awkward."

Getty Images/Hemera Sergey Galushko

11. "I'll quit pissing off the dog so damn much."

Getty Images/iStockphoto kandypix

12. "I will let my parents unload the dishwasher in peace. But man will I miss watching them freakout when I pretend to reach for a butter knife."

Getty Images/iStockphoto CroMary

13. "I'm going to finally break down and figure out this utensil business."

Getty Images/Hemera Stuart Monk

14. "I'll have all of my middle of the night freakouts between the hours of one and four a.m. only."

Getty Images/iStockphoto Oleg Kozlov

15. I won't pull off my diaper and leave it on the middle of the floor."

Getty Images/Ingram Publishing Ingram Publishing

16. "2015 will be the year I finally outsmart that goddamn baby gate."

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17. "I won't toss as many random things into the cart when my parents aren't looking."

Getty Images/Hemera Alena Yakusheva

18. "I'm going to beat this mac and cheese addiction."

Getty Images/iStockphoto Leslie Banks

19. "I'll limit tantrums to 2-3 a week, tops."

Getty Images/iStockphoto Nadezhda1906

20. "I'm going to master potty training.... but not before I eat a whole lot of M&M's, lol."

Getty Images Ryan McVay

21. I'll try not to make this face when I hear we're having veggies for dinner."

Getty Images/iStockphoto Bojan Sokolovic

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