Reddit users recently shared the many ways their kids have embarrassed them:
1. "My friend's four-year-old interrupted his mom's book club to ask if he could 'Go upstairs and powder his balls.'"
2. "My eight-year-old daughter announced to a crowded room that when she grows up she wants to be a prostitute. Turns out she meant 'prosecutor.'"
3. "He had trouble pronouncing 'peanuts,' so..."
"When my son was two we started teaching him about his peanut allergy. We would point to peanuts and mixed nuts in the grocery store and say, 'Those are peanuts, you can't eat them' and 'Those are nuts, you can't eat them.' He had trouble pronouncing 'peanuts,' though, so he would go around telling people (what sounded like) 'I can't eat penis; I can't eat nuts.'"
4. "My four-year-old daughter walked out of our bedroom asking if she could have some of our 'gum.' She was holding a box of condoms."
5. "My youngest thinks it is very funny to fart as hard as he can. He'll stare at me and lay out a string of four to six farts, then laugh and say 'I farted.'"
6. "It was so embarrassing."
"My two-year-old has started yelling, 'Help!' in public when she doesn't get her way. One time in a store my husband wouldn't put her down because she was acting nutty, so she locked eyes with the nearest customer and yelled, "Help! Help!" It was so embarrassing."
7. "We were at dinner with my incredibly conservative parents when my four-year-old son announced, 'I have a vagina!' Cue awkward silence."
8. "In front of all of my in-laws my three-year-old decided he wanted to sit in my lap. I was sitting criss-cross applesauce, so he said, "I want to sit in Mommy's hole."
9. "Somebody called the cops on her because..."
"When I was little I had a baby doll that would wail pitifully unless you turned it over on its back. I was playing with it in the car before my mom got sick of the noise and threw the doll in the trunk. When we stopped at a gas station somebody called the cops on her because they thought there was an actual baby in the trunk."
10. "My nearly three-year-old recently started asking completely random people if they have 'stinky butts.'"
11. "When my daughter was five she told our neighbor that she was probably going to die soon because she was old."
12. "When I noticed the lady in front of us..."
When I was four I was in the grocery store with my mustachioed dad. We were standing in line when I noticed the lady in front of us and cried out in my loud, squeaky voice, 'Daddy! That lady has a mustache just like you!'"
13. "My son peed on his brother in public on purpose because he was making him mad!"
14. "My oldest came out of the bedroom while we had some friends over. She was teething and found my wife's vibrator, and was using it as a teether."
15. "He got pretty far into it before they pulled him off the stage."
"My cousin was supposed to sing an appropriate song for his fifth grade talent show, but when he got on stage he cleared his throat and sang 'Fuck The Police' by N.W.A. instead. He got pretty far into it before they pulled him off the stage."
16. "My three-year-old asks people who walk by if they need to poop. Sigh."
17. "My five and seven-year-old kids caught me saying the cat was like a crackhead for cat biscuits. They then interrogated me until I found myself explaining what crack was."
18. "And yeah, I had to fart, so..."
"I was in Target with my nearly three-year-old and it was pretty quiet. We were on the cereal aisle and yeah, I had to fart, so I passed a little gas figuring no one was around to hear it. That's when my son yelled, 'MOMMY FARTED! HAHA! YOU FARTED!' I heard someone giggling in the next aisle over, so I dropped the cereal box and sprinted to the other side of the store as fast as possible."
19. "My hungry eight-month-old son power pulled my top down while we were walking through a mall. About twenty people saw my right boob and an old man gave me an enthusiastic thumbs up."
20. "When I scolded her she bellowed..."
"We were on the way to have a picnic lunch at the beach when we stopped at the store for drinks. We were standing in a crowded line when our daughter started picking her nose and eating it. When I scolded her she bellowed, "Well, I'm just so starving that I have to eat my boogs!"
21. "My six-year-old was at the bank with my dad and told the teller she was staying the night at her grandparents' house so that 'Mommy and daddy can have a playdate!'"
