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19 Things You Should Never Do When Your Partner Is In Labor

Be cool so you're allowed to come home with the baby.

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4. Talk about how well your mom, sister, or ex handled labor.

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"My ex was amazing through her whole labor. She didn't complain, she just created life! She really, really impressed me that night, babe."

PLEASE NOTE: The man quoted above is now dead. RIP.


5. Talk about how animals give birth all by themselves with no nurses or hospitals.

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"Not only that, but they give birth to a whole litter! You're giving birth to just one! It should be easy!"

PLEASE NOTE: The man quoted above is also dead. RIP.

6. Bring unwanted people into the room.

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The following scenario is just about your partner's worst nightmare:

You: "Hey, honey! You remember my college roomie, Doug, don't you? And this is his new girlfriend, Rhonda!"

Rhonda: "Look, Doug, she's crowning!"

Instead of doing that, clear all guests with your partner before you bring them in. This includes your mother, FYI.

8. Make jokes like, “Well, I guess we’ll see if it’s really mine soon!"

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You may be nervous and think these jokes will break the tension, but all they'll do is make things even more tense, funny guy.


11. Or worse — bring a bag of smelly fast food into the room.

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Do this and your partner not only has to see the food they can't eat, but later welcome their baby into the world with the lingering smell of a value meal in the air.


13. Complain that your partner is hurting your hand during contractions.


This is a sentence that will not go over well: "I don't think you have any idea how much pain I'm in when you squeeze it like that!"

14. Endlessly document the labor via texts and social media.

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You: "I just Vined your last contraction, honey! Hashtag I can't believe this is happening!"

Your partner: "Try hashtag sleeping on the couch."


17. Complain about being bored or tired.

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It is a bit of an endurance test when your partner is in labor, but it's nowhere near as much of an endurance test as the one your partner is experiencing!

19. Stress out that you're not ready to have a kid.


It's a little late for this kind of talk... the baby is here! But you know what? If your partner still lets you see the baby after this labor experience, you're going to find that being someone's parent is one of the most amazing things you can do in life.