19 Gifts No Mom Wants On Mother's Day

    We don't ask for much, but we ask for more than this.

    1. Cleaning supplies.

    2. A how-to book on parenting.

    3. Sex.

    4. Lingerie.

    5. Cellulite cream.

    6. A bouquet of flowers picked from a neighbor's yard.

    7. Tickets to a monster truck rally.

    8. Nothing.

    9. A homemade gift made by your kid without supervision.

    10. A coupon book.

    11. Breakfast in bed made entirely by your kids.

    12. A "Steak of the Month" club.

    13. A frame... without a family photo in it.

    14. Something from the bargain bin.

    15. A gift certificate to Weight Watchers.

    16. Exercise equipment or a gym membership.

    17. Something that's more for the kids than you.

    18. Slippers, muumuus, or anything else an octogenarian would love.

    19. Anything bought the day of.