17 Kids' Letters To The Tooth Fairy That’ll Make You Go, “Damn, You Gonna Play Her Like That?”

    "Tooth Fairy, you need to get your life together."

    1. This kid who isn't afraid to call the Tooth Fairy cheap:

    “I do not think that you just gave me a reasonable amount of money because $1 is not going to cut it. It is my first molar, come on! Maybe $5 will do. Thank you. Please respond.”

    2. And this kid who let their Maw Maw do the dirty work:

    "Please leave me more than $1 because Maw Maw said you're cheap."

    3. This kid who has some straight talk for the ol' Tooth Fairy:

    "Ever since we moved here I've lost three teeth so far and you didn't come yet so you need to find where we live and bring me three dollars and get your life together."

    4. This kid who figures it can't hurt to ask:

    “I want an iPhone in replacement of money. I’m not saying I don’t like the money. It’s that I really want an iPhone.”

    5. This kid whose parents are either lawyers or in the mob:

    “Listen, Tooth Fairy, this is as nice as it gets. Come and get my tooth otherwise I will sue you and hire someone that is fit for a tooth fairy and my teeth.”

    6. And this kid whose parents are DEFINITELY lawyers:

    “I lost a tooth yesterday. I have the hole in my mouth to prove it. I threw away the tooth when I was eating my pizza. Can I still get tooth money? I know your contract has fine print, can we please make a deal?”

    7. This kid who probably has the Tooth Fairy thinking she needs to set some boundaries:

    “Thank you for coming even though I didn’t give you my tooth…What do you love? Can you come to my house in the day time? What is your name?”

    8. Ditto for this kid:

    “I would really like to know your name and age...Maybe we could chat each time I lose a tooth. Please write back.”

    9. This kid who figured that if you treat the Tooth Fairy like Santa, maybe she'll act like Santa:

    "I want a Barbie motor home. I love you."

    10. This kid who tried to make a substitution:

    “My tooth went down the drain. It was an accident. Will you take this eyelash instead?”

    11. This kid who noticed some discrepancies:

    “I think you made a mistake. Last time I lost a tooth you gave me $20 and this time only $5. Please can I have $15?"

    12. This kid who wants money for nothing and the teeth for free:

    “Can I please keep my tooth thanks but I am broke so can I have the money?"

    13. This kid who is like, "Sit down, Tooth Fairy, do I have story for you":

    “You might think this is some kind of joke, but it’s not. My dear sisters lost my tooth, and if you don’t believe me look in my mouth (but don’t wake me up). I would be really happy if you were to give me money for my invisible tooth.”

    14. This budding linguist:

    "Please write me a note saying you came but in your fairy language. Thank you."

    15. This kid who is all business:

    "To Mr/Ms/Mrs Tooth Fairy...Thank you a lot for giving me $ I appreciate your benevolent service and I hope your services will not be abolished. P.S. Give me $50 or $100 please. P.P.S. No less than dat."

    16. This kid who wants to end their relationship on a high note:

    "This is my last baby tooth, so can I have a little extra money please? P.S. You won't have to visit me anymore."

    17. And this kid who isn't here for your crap, dad:

    "I know you’re not real but here’s my tooth. If it’s dad you owe me $5 for the tooth and $5 for licking the chili, so you own me $10!”