This is a toddler. Toddlers are not funny.
1. Now toddlers might DO funny things, but they, themselves, are not funny.
Toddler: "why did the pineapples cross the road?" Me: "I don't know, why did the pineapples cross the road?" Toddler: "hahhhahahahahha, that's the joke" #toddlerjokes #parenting @LifeofDadShow @LeedsDads @SelfishMother
2. For example, if you need a joke writer, you shouldn't hire a toddler.
"why do monkeys eat flowers?" Why? "Because they're hunnngrrrrryyy!!" #toddlerjokes
3. If you want a good toast at your wedding, you shouldn't ask a toddler to be your best man or maid of honor.
Knock knock. Who's there? Stinky stinky underwear. *that's it that's the joke. #toddlerjokes #funny
4. If you need someone to punch up the humor in your screenplay, asking a toddler isn't a great idea.
Miss 2: "What is brown and sticky?" Me: "A stick!" Miss 2: "No." Me: "What then?" Miss 2: "Peanut butter!" #toddlerjokes
5. If you're driving past The Improv and the placard says, "Toddler Comedy Night!" here's a tip: keep driving.
What do you call Old Navy with McDonald's? Poop. 3yrold jokes are the best. #toddlerjokes
6. Now some people will say toddlers ARE funny, positing that they are masters of anti-comedy.
Why didn't the heart have sprinkles on it? Because it had frogs on it! #toddlerjokes
7. But here's the thing. In order to do anti-comedy you have to KNOW you're doing anti-comedy.
3yo telling joke: knock knock... Bare feet... Hahahahahahaha Me: what? #toddlerjokes #funny #SAHM
8. Toddlers do not.
Our girls wanted to tell me jokes tonight... Charlie: what do you get when you add a D to so and ah? Answer: Soda! #proceedtogiggle Charity: what do you get when a hand pets a puppy’s face? Answer: Corn! #fitsoflaughter #gigglygirls #toddlerjokes #stilldontgetit
9. In their defense, toddlers are very young and just getting the hang of things.
Toddler: BOWL OF SCONES! Me: What's a bowl of scones? Toddler: [Hysterical laughter] BOWL OF SCONES! BOWL OF SCONES! #toddlerjokes
10. But if someone tells you their toddler is funny, be VERY suspicious (they probably just mean their kid laughs a lot).
- knock knock - who’s there? - a bug! - a bug who? - a bug in there there! HAHAHAHAHA #toddlerjokes
11. And if a toddler says, "Want to hear a joke?" you should lower your expectations (or run away).
Knock knock Who's there? Prancing pig Prancing pig who? Prancing pig cup! #toddlerjokes
12. Yeah, you should probably run away.
My 2 year old asked me this morning "What's going on with your butt? Is it crackin' up?", then proceeded to die laughing. 🤔😑#toddlerjokes
13. If you DO end up listening to a toddler tell a joke, for the love of all that is holy, do not laugh at it, or they will tell it over, and over, and over, and over!
Evie “I have a joke for Hershey” “how do dogs cross the street?” Me idk Evie “with their feet” 🤦🏻♀️lol #eviebeavie #toddlerjokes
14. In conclusion, while toddlers may grow up to be funny, they are not currently, so you must heed this warning...or else!
Today 3 y/o says (like its a punchline) "I went pp in the potty! Get it? Its a joke mom!" #toddlerjokes #worsethan #dadjokes #lostconcept