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    Updated on Aug 8, 2018. Posted on Jul 29, 2018

    WARNING: Toddlers Are Not Funny And Their Jokes Must Be Avoided At All Cost

    "Knock knock...bare feet... Hahahahahahaha!"

    This is a toddler. Toddlers are not funny.

    ABC

    1. Now toddlers might DO funny things, but they, themselves, are not funny.

    Toddler: "why did the pineapples cross the road?" Me: "I don't know, why did the pineapples cross the road?" Toddler: "hahhhahahahahha, that's the joke" #toddlerjokes #parenting @LifeofDadShow @LeedsDads @SelfishMother

    2. For example, if you need a joke writer, you shouldn't hire a toddler.

    "why do monkeys eat flowers?" Why? "Because they're hunnngrrrrryyy!!" #toddlerjokes

    3. If you want a good toast at your wedding, you shouldn't ask a toddler to be your best man or maid of honor.

    Knock knock. Who's there? Stinky stinky underwear. *that's it that's the joke. #toddlerjokes #funny

    4. If you need someone to punch up the humor in your screenplay, asking a toddler isn't a great idea.

    Miss 2: "What is brown and sticky?" Me: "A stick!" Miss 2: "No." Me: "What then?" Miss 2: "Peanut butter!" #toddlerjokes

    5. If you're driving past The Improv and the placard says, "Toddler Comedy Night!" here's a tip: keep driving.

    What do you call Old Navy with McDonald's? Poop. 3yrold jokes are the best. #toddlerjokes

    6. Now some people will say toddlers ARE funny, positing that they are masters of anti-comedy.

    Why didn't the heart have sprinkles on it? Because it had frogs on it! #toddlerjokes

    7. But here's the thing. In order to do anti-comedy you have to KNOW you're doing anti-comedy.

    3yo telling joke: knock knock... Bare feet... Hahahahahahaha Me: what? #toddlerjokes #funny #SAHM

    8. Toddlers do not.

    Our girls wanted to tell me jokes tonight... Charlie: what do you get when you add a D to so and ah? Answer: Soda! #proceedtogiggle Charity: what do you get when a hand pets a puppy’s face? Answer: Corn! #fitsoflaughter #gigglygirls #toddlerjokes #stilldontgetit

    9. In their defense, toddlers are very young and just getting the hang of things.

    Toddler: BOWL OF SCONES! Me: What's a bowl of scones? Toddler: [Hysterical laughter] BOWL OF SCONES! BOWL OF SCONES! #toddlerjokes

    10. But if someone tells you their toddler is funny, be VERY suspicious (they probably just mean their kid laughs a lot).

    - knock knock - who’s there? - a bug! - a bug who? - a bug in there there! HAHAHAHAHA #toddlerjokes

    11. And if a toddler says, "Want to hear a joke?" you should lower your expectations (or run away).

    Knock knock Who's there? Prancing pig Prancing pig who? Prancing pig cup! #toddlerjokes

    12. Yeah, you should probably run away.

    My 2 year old asked me this morning "What's going on with your butt? Is it crackin' up?", then proceeded to die laughing. 🤔😑#toddlerjokes

    13. If you DO end up listening to a toddler tell a joke, for the love of all that is holy, do not laugh at it, or they will tell it over, and over, and over, and over!

    Evie “I have a joke for Hershey” “how do dogs cross the street?” Me idk Evie “with their feet” 🤦🏻‍♀️lol #eviebeavie #toddlerjokes

    14. In conclusion, while toddlers may grow up to be funny, they are not currently, so you must heed this warning...or else!

    Today 3 y/o says (like its a punchline) "I went pp in the potty! Get it? Its a joke mom!" #toddlerjokes #worsethan #dadjokes #lostconcept

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