I recently came across a viral Reddit thread from last year asking parents to share the most absurd thing they discovered their kids doing online, and — whoa nelly — the responses will make even non-parents itchy to download parental controls:
1. "My little brother was 7 when my mother found his search history was full of naked women. When she confronted him he cried and said he just wanted to be like Jack from Titanic by drawing naked women. He even had a few pages of his attempted drawings."
2. "When my son was 8 he asked if he could have some 'alone time' in the office with my computer. Afterward I looked at his search history: 'Big boobs,' 'little boobs,' and then 'hot grils' which turned up page after page of Weber grills."
3. "When my twins were in elementary school they were looking up The Simpsons and accidentally came across The Simpsons cartoon pornography. The computer was in the living room so I heard them giggling and turned to see two guilty little faces. What a conversation! The sight of Milhouse and Lisa is forever burned into my retinas."
4. "My girls are 8 and 10 and looked up 'Scooby Doo sex.' It's great. Parenting is great. Send help."
5. "My 7-year-old boy searched for 'LEGO boobs.'”
6. "My 9-year-old son's Google history: 'Do girls in England poo blood for a month?'"
7. "My 10-year-old son's computer has parental controls, so he was trying to look up 'sex' on his Roblox game."
8. "My younger brother thought that when you entered more searches, it deleted your previous searches at some point. So when I looked on his iPad I saw a search for 'boobs' followed by a search for 'cheese.' And then 'cheese,' 'cheese,' 'cheese,' 'cheese,' 'cheese,' 'cheese,' and so on. So many cheeses!"
9. "The best thing I ever found on my 13-year-old's Google search history was 'sexy robot ladies.'"
10. "I checked my 11-year-old son's search history to find a number of interesting questions like: 'Will my penis disappear when I'm 18?' and 'How do I save my penis?' When I asked him about it he said that some kids at school told him that when boys turn 18 they lose their penis."
11. "My kids love YouTube. Recently, I started getting notifications from people replying to 'my' comments on conspiracy videos. Turns out my son has a curiosity about flat earthers and doomsday preppers."
12. "My stepdad thinks it’s hilarious to go through my 12-year-old brother's search history. Last time he looked he found 'How to pick up hot chicks on Xbox Live?'"
13. "My 15-year-old got busted searching for dick-size predictor tests — the kind where it’s based on the measurement of your hand or whatever. The whole family tormented him by taking the tests. Turns out I have the biggest dick in my house, and I’m his mother. 😂"
14. "My 8-year-old brother had a game on his 3DS where you could take a selfie and the game would turn your face into an enemy that you had to beat. Instead of his face, he took a picture of his penis. I watched him play against the dick monster. I brought it up to my parents the next day, and he got the 3DS taken away for a year."
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.