1. You like to keep your options open.
2. Even if it means the people who you’re talking to know that you do.
3. You use dating apps to ensure your choices are plentiful.
4. Because really, you never know when thirst may strike.
5. Especially as you're always ripe and ready.
6. Which is amplified like crazy when you go out drinking.
7. So your friends are constantly dying to hear about your thirsty-ass shenanigans from the night before.
8. And they always come to the same conclusion...
9. ...but accept you for your ho-ass ways anyway.
10. Because your true friends should let you be the best you.
11. Despite the fact that sometimes the shit you get into scares even you.
12. So you decide that enough is enough.
13. And you try to drop subtle hints to show a guy you're kind of interested...
14. ...and some less subtle ones too.
15. You have to pretend that you don't know about your old ho ways.
16. But you and him both know the real you.
17. And you get a little too attached...
Him: I need space Me:
18. ...and he gets even more attached.
19. So you freak out and bail to return to the ho life.
20. And you realise you really aren't made for that relationship life.
21. Because your thirsty ass is just too focused on other things.
22. Plus your girls are more than happy to have you back on the ho squad.
23. And you've pretty much made peace with how you're going to leave this earth.
