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Posted on 15 Sep 2015

23 Things Retail Staff Secretly Want Customers To Know

Walk a mile in my 12-hour double-shift shoes.

1. We can't change the prices no matter how much you ask.

Paramount Pictures

The company sets the prices, not the retail workers. If you really want to talk dollars I can give you head office's number?

2. We deal with hundreds of people a day, so your flirting also won't change the price.

CBS

Company policy is company policy no matter how beautiful you may be.

3. We know that the "consumer law" threat is very rarely a valid argument.

NBC

Not having stock is not a breach of consumer law. Nor is not giving you a refund when you don't have a receipt.

4. We also understand that you may want a refund, but it doesn't always mean you are "entitled" to one.

Warner Brothers

I can't return your stained underwear, I really can't. Return policies are there for a reason.

5. We are tired of hearing the "I shop somewhere else" threat.

CW

Feel free to shop where you ~wish~.

6. We have staff restrooms for staff; there are public restrooms just outside the store.

Touchstone Pictures

Do you really need ours?!

7. We may price match, but that doesn't mean we can discount everything.

Comedy Central

How can we match online pricing when they don't have to pay rent or staff?!

8. We also don't have an unlimited staff discount to give to everyone.

Paramount Pictures

Please don't bring your fifth cousin twice separated to me for a discount. Please.

9. We do try our hardest to get around to serving everyone.

Marvel Studios

We aren't going out of our way to avoid serving you.

10. We've heard the "if it doesn't scan it must be free" joke about 73 times today.

KTTV

We've reached our daily fake-laugh quota.

11. We would prefer you to ask us for help with a size than rummage through all the piles.

Warner Brothers

It saves you time, and it saves us time later.

12. We wish you would just directly give us the things you don't want rather than place them anywhere in store.

Universal Pictures

It makes recovery cleaning 110% more difficult.

13. We hate when you come in at 8:55pm when we close at 9:00pm.

NBC

We especially hate it when you stay for two hours at 8:55pm.

14. We have targets to meet, so it would be amazing if you let us know whether you have an intention to buy.

ITV

We will still help you but it helps us know that we can juggle a few people at the same time.

15. We don't know every single item in store by heart.

FOX

When you call up and give us a vague description it really doesn't help. "Can you tell me the price of a couch I saw in store? It was black."

16. We can't value your expired coupons or old catalogues.

Universal Pictures

Company policy, ya know?

17. We know you hate being asked if you need help, but it is literally our job.

CW

If we don't greet you as you walk in... we get in shit.

18. We don't control stock.

NBC

That's head office's job.

19. We can't just give you the floor stock or the item that another customer has on hold.

FOX

We need display items and we need to not steal other people's things.

20. We don't control what's in the catalogue.

Bravo

Head office AGAIN.

21. We also don't control whether what is in the catalogue is in stock.

Showtime

It isn't "false advertising", it's actually "people saw it and bought it before you".

22. We are trying to sell to you, so when we say we don't have stock we aren't lying.

Columbia Pictures

"Can you check out the back?" ... "Can you check again?"

23. Above all, we are humans too.

City TV

We try our best. Promise.

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