18 Ways To Make The Most Of Your Australia Day Long Weekend
Call in sick on Friday. You know you want to.
First off, make sure you factor in chucking a sickie on the Friday after Australia Day.
And go raid your local bottle-o the day before Australia Day to stock up on all the grog on sale you can find.
Then drink it all and wake up at 11.30am hungover as shit on Australia Day.
Go back to sleep and wake up at 2pm, despite you saying you wouldn't waste the day.
Realise you slept through the start of The Hottest 100, which is fine because you don't GAF about that half anyway.
But catch the end of it, and bitch and moan about why Drake is anywhere near the top ten.
Then remember that you didn't buy any food, and have a go at Domino's for the 15% surcharge they're hitting you with for a cheeky large meatlovers.
But pay it anyway because you know you're a sucker for a cheeky large meatlovers.
Fall asleep again and wake up at 7am to give the "I'm sick" shtick to your boss.
Decide that since you're already up, you might as well battle all the traffic and go to the beach.
Whip out your Aussie flag boardies and head to the beach to complain about how packed it is.
And after the beach, visit the Macca's drive-thru for that sweet soft serve hit and wait 20 minutes to find out that the machine isn't working.
Angrily drive home, and decide to stay in to make use of the remaining sale grog you stocked up on.
Be sure to post your tinnie tower on social media so everyone can know how many you smashed this weekend.
Don't forget to recycle though, you're not a shit cunt.
And after a few hours on the piss, realise your back really stings because you forgot to put sunscreen on.
Spend the rest of your long weekend drinking at home in agonising pain while you're peeling.
Then roll back into work on Monday morning nursing your bad sunburn and four-day hangover with a litre of Gatorade, and a bacon and egg roll.
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