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19 Tweets That Prove No Matter What, You're Still The Damn Same Every Year

Back on your bullshit. The 2018 edition.

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Date: I'm pretty easygoing, you? Me: *regularly gets stressed out doing captcha tests bc I don't know if bushes count as trees* Definitely.


I've been alive 20 years and still haven't found the right thing to say when somebody knocks on the door of the public bathroom you're in


me covering my front camera with tape and thinking about how the fbi agent monitoring me has watched me cry everyda…


I am 22 and still pretend to be asleep when someone comes to my room so they dont bother me. I am not ashamed. I am…


coming home from a night out and seeing ur bed full of shit from when u were getting dressed


I REALLY hope the pizza tracker can't see how many times you click refresh.


If you honk at me .025 seconds after the light turns green I’m going to put my vehicle in park, adjust my seat, che…


me at 15: i can’t wait to go to college and experience parties and everything!! me at 20: ok so listen. there’s a n…


Mechanic: Looks like yo- Me: Listen, I just came to get my oil changed and DASSIT


*Dog sneezes* "Aww. Bless you." *Co-worker sneezes* "Oh my god, shut the f*ck up, Jesse"


You ever dm yourself something funny to read/watch later when you get home then forget? You leave yourself on read. It be your own self


me after going 5 minutes without reassurance and attention


i know i ain’t the only girl that be doing my makeup in front of my vanity like, “hi guys so today we’re gonna star…


Me: *accidentally types url wrong one time* Navigation Bar: [every day for 15 years] Do you wanna go to Faceboot t…


me @ $2 sandwich: It’s affordable but is it filling? If it’s filling, will it provide me with enough satisfaction?…


me at family party: why is everyone asking me personal questions me in an uber: and that Laurence might be where m…


me ignoring wikipedia's plea to save them from their annual financial collapse and still using it


someone: *hurts me very bad* me: i don’t deserve this. i need to remove toxic people from my life them: hey sorry…


[i clean my room and drink a moderate amount of water throughout the day] fuuuck bro 2018 is gonna be my year i can…