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    19 Tweets That'll Hurt You And End Way Differently Than You Expect Them To

    I'm too sensitive for this, please stop.

    1.

    [during sex] her: i want you to hurt me me: your sister’s more successful than you her: wait me: not a big fan of the new haircut her: stop

    2.

    me during sex: hurt me them: you were never that smart you just were good at reading as a child so you were given special attention and it gave you a complex me: wait- them: you don’t try at school because youre convinced ur natural intellect will save you but u don’t have it

    3.

    (During sex) Me: hurt me Her: *doesnt exist* Me: wait Pillow: Me: stop

    4.

    [during sex] Me: Hurt me Her: In 1992, scientists discovered the loneliest creature on Earth. Me: what Her: Its a whale that has been calling for a mate for two decades. He communicates at a frequency not used by any other whales, and hasnt received a response. Me: stop

    5.

    Me During sex: hurt me sex robot: i cannot violate Asimov’s first law of robotics

    6.

    *During sex* Me: I want you to hurt me Her: oasis suck Me: what Her: their best song is wonderwall Me: stop

    7.

    Me during sex: hurt me Him: you’ve gained a lot of weight since high school and your personality doesn’t make up for it Me: wait- Him: your tweets aren’t funny and you’re so creatively burnt out you’re forced to use meme templates for content Me: p l s s t o p

    8.

    [during sex] her: i want you to hurt me him: the last release of an animal crossing main series game was in 2012 almost six years ago

    9.

    Me during sex: hurt me Her: you’re in bronze because you belong there Me: what Her: stop blaming your teams and start focusing on yourself. learn how to trade better and use advantages to help your team. there’s no such thing as hardstuck you’re just not very good Me: stop

    10.

    Me during sex: hurt me Her: just because you put your feelings in words doesn’t mean you deal with them, it just means you’re aware of the pain you cause yourself Me: what Her: tweeting your sadness doesn’t create a catharsis, it just worries those that care for you Me: stop

    11.

    *during sex* Me: I want you to hurt me Her: you have no plans for the future Me: what Her: you didn’t expect to live this long so you’re winging ur entire life Me: stop

    12.

    me during sex: hurt me my partner: olive you can't do this meme format because everyone knows you're too sensitive to ever want to be hurt in any way. also you're single me: stop

    13.

    me during sex: i want you to hurt me them: one direction is never coming back me: wait wha- them: one direction is dead me: no stop

    14.

    [during sex] me: i want u to hurt me him: you don’t have the things you want because you do nothing to work towards your goals me: wait him: your complete lack of motivation will leave you with a mediocre life filled with regret at best me: stop

    15.

    [during sex] me: hurt me her: you only find this meme funny because you’ve been tricked into believing that making fun of your own pain makes you endearing me: wait her: true earnestness encased in protective irony is still irony and toxic to your soul me: harder

    16.

    Me during sex: hurt me Her: it’s over Me: not that much Her: I’m taking the kids Me: aw jeeze

    17.

    *during sex* me: i want u to hurt me them: just because you are self aware of your mental illness, doesn’t mean that you are dealing it me: what them: you can’t suppress your problems and deal with them at the same time me: stop

    18.

    *during sex* Me: i want you to hurt me Her: i don’t like the movie Ratatouille Me: what Her: yeah its kinda cute but I just can’t stop thinking about the fact an actual rat is touching everyone’s food, like that breaks tons of health violations & its super gross Me: stop

    19.

    Me during sex: hurt me *the girl hits my nuts w/a hammer* Me: ouch wtf I thought u were gonna point out a thing about my personality that seems sorta insightful but is just dumb pop psychology bullshit Her: nope I hit ur nuts w/a hammer now im gonna put a scorpion in ur ass

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