You always have to try and convince your friends that you can control yourself.
And you tell yourself you're going to be responsible but you know it's not going to happen.
No one, not even yourself, believes you because you're notorious for being that person.
Because you're always telling your friends that you won't drink and it never sticks.
Or you tell them that you'll responsibly "just have one."
Which again never sticks, because you don't know what self-control is.
But on the off-chance that you actually start to stay sober, your friends simply will not allow it.
And you go from responsible adult to newborn child in the space of 45 minutes.
Because for some strange reason you only have two states of being when you're drunk.
And you're convinced that alcohol just works in different ways on you.
Even your mates can tell you're reaching that point despite what you think.
So they take extreme measures to save you from yourself.
You eventually realise how fucked up you actually are after about an hour of drinking.
But even though you know you're drunk AF, you still can't resist some offers.
Even if some of those offers are literally not appealing in any way.
After a while you inevitably find yourself in the bathroom.
And you end up spending a little too long in there.
So while you're there you try to get yourself in line because you know what will happen if you don't.
However it really makes no difference and you do the things you weren't meant to anyway.
And the drinks keep flowing and you just keep struggling to exist.
You lose the ability to do pretty much anything.
Which can be a little tricky when the night ends and you have to get back home.
You finally wake up the next day and can remember absolutely nothing.
So you rely on the things that people tell you.
Or on the evidence that presents itself on your phone.
But at the end of it all you only have one real question that needs to be answered.
And you wonder why your drunk ass can't ever just pace yourself when you go out drinking.