1. How did this even happen to begin with?
2. Why is Donner such a jerk?
3. What the hell is wrong with Santa?
4. And why does Mrs. Claus put up with him?
5. Why are all the male elves bald?
6. What does Rudolph's nose have to do with his flying skills? I mean, honestly. He had the best takeoff but because his nose is red he's out???
7. And how come no one said shit about Fireball's patch of hair? Why is no one calling him Fireball the Blonde-Haired Reindeer and excluding HIM from reindeer games?
8. What is Comet's problem?
9. How come Rudolph sounds like a child when he sings but Clarice sounds like a 47-year-old woman at church choir practice?
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10. Ok, but why are all reindeers huge assholes?
11. What was Yukon Cornelius thinking when he put this sled team together?
12. Why is this scooter even on the Island of Misfit Toys?
13. Does this bird know he's not the only bird in the world who swims instead of flies?
14. And why in the hell is a lion-bird named King Moonracer in charge?
15. Can Rudolph just stop making everything about himself and his nose? WE GET IT!!!
16. Was Rudolph trying to freeze his friends to death when he left in the middle of the night and didn't close the door?
17. Can't these reindeer just fly away from the Abominable or what?
18. How is it possible that Santa gained 100 lbs in one night?
19. And most puzzling of all, why did Rudolph forgive all these people?
